Five things you should never say to your spouse

You should be free to talk with your spouse about anything, but there are some words that should never come out of your mouth, even when you are angry. When you utter these words or statements, they cannot be reversed, and they will only damage your marriage. 

These words will also hurt your spouse’s feelings and eventually break the foundation of your marriage. Whenever you are speaking, whether in the middle of an argument or a discussion, it is important you think before you speak because your words will either make or break your relationship.  In this article, you will see some of the things you should never say to your spouse or partner. 

1. Regretting your marriage

You likely say something like, “I wish I was single” because you see your single friends out partying while you are busy with some household activities or you wish you never married your partner because he or she is failing at meeting a certain expectation of yours. 

When you express feelings of regret or wishes of being single to your spouse, you make them feel like a failure in marriage, which is hurtful and counterproductive. In good and seemingly bad times, you should stick to your commitment to your spouse instead of thinking about how you would be better off without him or her. 

2. Comparing your spouse and marriage with others

You might be tempted to compare your spouse and marriage to another person’s own. You should not compare your partner to another person. Rather, you should encourage them to do what you want them to do. 

The fact is there is no perfect marriage. Every marriage has its ups and downs. The couples you compare your spouse to might also encounter marital problems once in a while. Instead of comparing, you should endeavor to work on your relationship with your spouse so that both of you can meet each other’s expectations.

3. Mentioning your ex(es)

Imagine how hurtful it would be to compare your spouse to your ex. Saying things like, “my ex buys me gifts every month” or “my ex does this for me” is unkind and upsetting.

You should concentrate on your present relationship and leave your ex(es) out of your relationship. Instead of comparing them with your ex(es), encourage or tell them what they could have done better or how you like something to be done.

4. Things that lower your partner’s self-esteem

Your partner might be someone that gives silly ideas or might not be a professional in the kitchen. You don’t need to be critical to the point of making him or her feel dumb. Statements like, “use your brain”, and “that’s a stupid idea” are mean and can affect his or her self-esteem. 

Rather than using such statements, share the knowledge you have and find solutions together. For a change, you can also teach each other things you are better at.

5. Talking divorce

Throwing the divorce card in an argument or during a fight will always haunt your marriage, filling it with insecurities, doubts, and suspicions. Divorce is not a word you can take back after mentioning it and should not be easily mentioned, even if it’s just an idle threat. 

When you mention ‘divorce’, it shows a lack of commitment and lack of faith in preserving your marriage in the long run. Try to work through any challenge you might be facing in your marriage together and stick with your promise to be there for better or worse unless it involves abuse or more serious offense.

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