What envious people desire and cannot have, they despise or want to destroy. Sounds familiar? When people lose out in a love game, the object of affection is usually described as “useless and stupid”. Whenever you see someone undermine or belittle the achievements of others in order to make themselves appear more worthy of those achievements, envy is on crude display. However, what envious people fail to realise is that if you always belittle others, you will always be little.
Envy begins in such a subtle way that you might miss it. It is important to be aware of its signs so that you don’t get sucked into its vicious vortex. It can manifest in a tinge of discomfort that you feel when there is a discussion around you about someone you know who has something that you secretly desire but don’t know how to get, and you concluded that it was naturally improbable. It could also occur in the form of sleepless nights while feeling miserable over what someone else has but which seems to be a mirage to you – until you probably convince yourself even without proof that he couldn’t have got it through fair means.
Have you ever seen someone driving a particular car you would love to have but cannot fathom how, and you simply came to the pacifying conclusion that for anyone to ride that kind of car, he must be a drug-pusher, a Yahoo boy (online fraudster) or an emergency contractor? The direct implication is that since you cannot do any of those things you imagined they did, you cannot have that kind of car. So, you concluded, “It’s probably not worth it anyway. A bogus car like that would only make you attract undue attention to yourself. I just like my quiet life!” Really?
One day, a fox was passing through a field of grapes. The grapes were very ripe and looked very inviting. Thoroughly famished, the fox wanted so badly to eat the grapes. The only problem was that the grapes were suspended on some wooden platforms that the vineyard owner had strategically constructed for that purpose. Not being a good climber, the fox jumped up a couple of times but unfortunately, in spite of all his efforts, he could not reach any of the grapes. Tired, frustrated but still hungry, he hissed and walked away muttering to himself “Those grapes are probably rotten anyway”!
You can escape from the trap of envy before it envelopes you in its virulent grip. The main cure for envy is good old Contentment. Contentment is not about being contained in a rut. Neither is it a satiated confinement in status quo. It is about learning to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. It’s a quality that comes from within. Contentment is rooted in the conviction that the grass is only greener on the other side of the fence because you have not watered the one in your yard. This comes from a strong identity consciousness that recognises difference as opposed to inferiority or superiority. Being confident in the uniqueness of your identity and calling annihilates petty jealousy and instead, learns to celebrate success and achievement in others. It operates on the consciousness that frustration is usually the harvest you get when you constantly compare yourself to others.
Contentment makes it possible for you to learn from everyone and every experience without losing the very essence of who you really are in God. It inspires in you a capacity to be grateful for who you are and what you have now while aspiring for greater possibilities.
If you ever catch yourself feeling a tinge of resentment against anyone’s success or achievement, arrest the thought in its tracks before it ever takes root. Think about the many things going well for you that others are merely dreaming about. Recognize that your present level of frustration is another person’s highest level of aspiration. Your current reality is still someone else’s loftiest dream.
God is no respecter of persons but of principles. Given the same opportunities with a corresponding willingness to pay the same price, you will more than likely get the same results that the person you envy is getting or has got.
Until you have unassailable evidence to the contrary, give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If there is something you admire in another person and want to emulate or achieve, do not be afraid to ask him to show you the ropes. Contrary to what most people believe, successful people are usually more than willing to share their insights with others.
The more you criticize and envy those who are succeeding at their God-inspired purpose in life, the more you are blinded to your own potentials and amplify the reason why success consistently eludes you.
The logic is simple: What you don’t admire, you cannot attract! If you truly want to live a happy and fulfilling life, celebrate the grace and uniqueness in other people and watch your own profile begin to rise! Wisdom is the recognition of difference and honour is the celebration of that difference. If you constantly envy other people’s achievements, the only way you will escape a harvest of envy is to die before achieving anything!
The only way to stay ahead of backbiters is to constantly stay out in front! Two candidates were in the race for the world’s most powerful political office, the presidency of the USA. One of them kept on casting aspersions on the personality of his opponent. Whenever he mounted the soapbox, his opponent was his subject. The opponent on the other hand never once dignified his disparaging co-contestant with as much as a reaction to the diatribes. One day, a puzzled journalist asked him the question, “How come you never respond to all the accusations leveled against you by your opponent? Are you tacitly admitting that they are true?”
He replied, “When I was young, we had a dog on our street. Every time the moon came out, the dog barked until it lost its strength and breath. But what did the moon do? It never once barked back. It just kept on shining”.
You can guess who won the election! I saw a similar scenario play itself out during the Presidential electioneering campaign that eventually saw Barrak Obama emerging as President of the United States of America. Obama took so much flak about his colour and his political inexperience from his opponents, but he kept the electorate focused on the main plank of his purpose for running for the presidency of the world’s number one democracy. A similar scenario is playing out in the current presidential campaign in the same USA.
When you allow envy to slow down your momentum, you simply lose the very essence of what made your life enviable in the first instance. If you require the approval of people to succeed, their disapproval is all that will be required to ground you!
Do you truly want to succeed?
The secret is simple. Let the dogs keep barking and let the moon keep shining!
Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!
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