Ethnicity and culture are strong societal concepts that define the way people live and relate with one another. To some extent, they determine relationships and marriage. However, among these two, some people give priority to one over the other. This inspired our question for today. Below are the responses of our contributors:
Tayo Olademehin
The sociology of marriage predicts that intra-ethnic marriage is the best form of marriage. However, this is not to condemn inter-ethnic marriage. In the African setting, the family plays a major role in conflict or crisis management between husbands and wives. Familial and residential propinquity makes it more effective, unlike in the Western world where they rely, if not majorly, on the court of law to settle marital disputes.
Culture has a prominent role to play in a marriage. When you marry somebody who is alien to your culture, you do not expect substantial compliance from him or her. Language is the number one aspect of culture − understanding each other’s languages makes room for the free flow of communication. Statistically, the level of divorce within an intra-ethnic marriage is lower than that of an inter-ethnic marriage.
Since marriage is designed by God, He could choose a spouse for anyone, depending on their conviction. In China, they marry along the bloodline and consider whoever is married outside their bloodline as a contamination. While not condemning inter-ethnic marriage, intra-ethnic marriage is better for Africans.
Goodness Akindele
I see everyone equally. As long as the person meets my specifications and criteria, we are good. However, due to what happened in the last Nigerian elections, with the Lagos Labour Party governorship candidate and voters in certain areas in Lagos, I would say you might not be tribalistic, but the family you want to marry into might be − especially if you are from a different ethnic group. It is important to consider all these and make the right decisions for yourself, your marriage, your children, and your family.
Modupeola Abayomi
I cannot date someone outside. If I do, it means I would have to learn their language, culture, and beliefs, which might be different from mine. Love covers all things, but not ethnicity. There would be some constraints that would seem odd along the line. So, I would prefer to marry from my tribe.
Funke Fadeyi
We are Yoruba. My son married an Igbo lady, my daughter married an Edo man, and I love it. We all are siblings, children of the same parents. If there are any problems, people should learn to settle them. Trouble has nothing to do with tribe − so also is good conduct. One should marry from one’s religion to foster some understanding. Tribe is nothing.
Emeyazia Iwediokpulu
Ethnicity, as it relates to relationships and marriage, is an old-school concept that is no longer relevant in modern society. It is like saying women should not wear trousers because it is not in our culture. We need it for the unification of the country, tribal growth, and betterment of humanity. There is beauty in diversity.
Emmanuel John
One of the basic needs, fulfilment, and achievements in marriage or relationships is finding lasting happiness and peace of mind. If there is peace and joy in a marriage or relationship, it thrives. Ethnicity and race should not be prerequisites for dating or marriage. The most important thing is finding a partner who completes you, someone who gives you peace, joy, and most importantly, unconditional love irrespective of their place of origin, race or tribe. To buttress my point, some societal narratives or stereotypes about certain races or ethnic groups are false. As long as one finds someone who completes them, gives them joy and peace of mind, and has good character, plus unconditional love, even though the person is from another ethnic group or race, it is okay to spend the rest of their lives with such a person.
Afolabimi Ademitunji
Ethnicity is a bias we bring in when we have already found a relationship. At the beginning of every relationship, nobody cares or asks the other person about their ethnicity, religion, or age. We just enjoy each other’s company.
Ekene George
Love overcomes all limitations and boundaries, including ethnicity and religious beliefs. Ethnicity does not matter when it comes to true love.
Tosin Awoniyi
I consider ethnicity as a factor in dating or marriage. I cannot marry someone outside my tribe and culture. First is the language barrier − their language is different from mine, so It would take me some time to learn it and I am not ready to go through that stress. Secondly, if I marry someone outside my tribe and culture, we might not be able to tolerate each other. Third is loss of contact with friends. There is this probability that I might lose contact with most of my friends and colleagues which I would not like. Finally, I might feel isolated because I did not marry someone from my tribe that I could understand.
READ ALSO FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNEÂ
and then