A review of B.M Dzukogi’s S3x is Beautiful by Kamar Hamza.
B.M Dzukogi’s book, S3x is Beautiful, is an exploration into the flame of sensual indulgence that pervades our society today and the potential consequence of this inferno that is trying to ravage the human society.
Philosophers from the ancient times to our contemporary society have explained the nature of man, which is self-seeking.
The desires of man are insatiable if there are no instruments of control.
The control of emotional, physical and mental health of a human will bring justice to his whole being and in turn bring justice to the society.
Justice is what brings harmony to the three sets psychological components of human beings. Plato in his famous book, The Republic, uses the three phenomenon as a framework for the analysis that tilt towards the realisation of an ideal state.
In his own words, appetite, courage and reason are the three components. Those that have desires as predominant virtue in them are the ones in the lowest ladder of the society. Those that have courage as a predominant virtue in them are in the middle. Those who have reason as the predominant virtue in them are at the highest ladder.
Dzukogi tries to call our attention to Plato’s align with the highest virtue which is reason. Courage and appetite are characteristics possessed by animals but reason is only for human beings. The two others are instinctive in nature.
The sexuality of an adolescent as a member of the society is the central concern of this book. The author posits, “Love is not for adolescent, but they harbour the tendency to feel it as human beings” (p.16).
As a moral standard for the youth, for their self-presentation and for avoiding any mistake that might tend to constitute obstruction to their future ambition, he reaffirmed the above position, that due to the “curious and inquisitive creature” the man is {adolescent male and female} “will seek to know the interior beauty of his (or her} companion (p.19). His position is to enable adolescent to imbibe self-discipline, restrain and allow rationality to prevail over appetite in a very healthy way.”
Given the dilemma of the preponderance of real and suggestive sex symbols that pervades the human society in recent times, the adolescent is confronted with sexual dilemma of attack on his morality within and outside the confines of his/her home.
Dzukogi provokes an argument that seeks to balance between the development of the reproductive organ of the adolescent and the rebuke he (she) receives from the agents of socialisation in the society if he eventually indulges in illicit sexual relationship.
To avoid this pitfall, he suggests 15 strategies for self-control. One of the strategies is; Minimise close contact with opposite sex.
When you do, it should be in furtherance of knowledge or creative production (p.29) And another one is that; Desist from watching sex-loaded films. Watch films about historical figures, documentary, science, places and education (p.29).
Two Senators of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, who are concerned mothers, genuinely initiated a bill on indecent dressing but met a brick wall from various civil society groups and even the senate. Their concern is shared by Dzukogi as a concerned father who aspires to see his daughters and that of others to be free from sexual exploitation.
He warned girls on the evils of indecent dressing. He argues that indecent dressing is bait that wayward girls use to look for men’s sexual urge. It reveals their inferiority complex which is a product of low self-esteem.
In addition to indecent dressing, he mentions that three are other 13 attributes of adolescent girls that like to indulge in sexual relationship with men. The author writes.
“She loves the softer sides of life and would not like to strain herself for pursuit of maximum quality and result.” (p.35)
He adds, “She depends on others for assignments, test and examinations. She is willing to share her body to succeed in examinations” (p.35-36)
As a son to his mother and as a father to his daughters Dzukogi extols the virtue of a woman. He dignifies them by asserting that you are not a sex object; you are a woman, the pervious pearl of mankind (p.48).
The author sees them as adorable members of the family and society in general. They are partners who could propel the society forward. This attempt at confidence building is as a result of the prevailing circumstances in which women are being used as objects of exploitation by advert agencies.
This role given them in the media is just a celebration of their feminity and not their humanity which is not cherished.
Dzukogi prods into the relevance of marriage as an institute against the background that this naturally divine institution is supposed to help humanity find balance in the society.
He queries the society for not putting in place a framework for accommodating women who have reached marriageable age and are still waiting to be taken to the altar.
He confronts men for not opening up the space for those kinds of ladies in order to guard against illegitimate sexual relationship, given the natural urge for it.
One could allude to the fact that in the past when slavery was legal illegitimate sexual relationship was an anti-social behaviour attributed to slaves.
But in contemporary time, men who have the means of getting married and refuse to and indulge in sex outside wedlock are only reducing themselves to the status of slaves.
To guard against the dilemma of waiting too long for Mr. Right and to answer the question of unsatisfied sexual urge, he asks in Chapter 16 that when should young people get married? He provides answers to these questions with 10 points which are itemised in Chapter 17.
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