An enduring relationship must be NURTURING. To nurture is to develop, promote, empower for growth, foster, or encourage.
In a genuine friendship, the parties involved are constantly motivating and supportive of one another even when they do not share the same passion. What is uppermost in their minds is how each party in the relationship would succeed in their chosen endeavours. They sharpen one another through counsel, exchange of mutually beneficial information as well as collaborative ideas. According to Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (NKJV)
Have you ever been in a high maintenance relationship that wore you out more than it built you up? At the peak of his crisis, Job’s friends frustrated him so badly with their prejudices that at a point, Job said they were breaking his bones with words! Does that describe you? In nurturing relationships, make your words sweet. You may have to eat them later!
True friends are known for DEPENDABILITY. A genuine friend will always get your back when all that others are doing is stabbing it! According to my number one reference book on this subject, the Bible in Proverbs 17:17, a friend loves you at all times. He is not a fair-weather cock.
Dependability is the secret of products that have remained in the market for a long time and are still outpacing competition. It is therefore not surprising that enduring wealth is built around this unique quality. It is the utmost expression of SERVICE and VALUE. Loyalty is built around it.
Another name for it is TRUST. Everyone wants to do business with someone they can trust. It is the reason a thief would steal from one bank and go to deposit his loot in another bank. He is also looking for someone to trust!
Lieutenant-General Stanley Maude was a highly decorated British veteran of the 1st World War. He led several expeditions for the British Crown. In 1916, he led an expedition to consolidate the hold of the Allied Forces in the Mesopotamian region. On arriving Baghdad, one of the first acquaintances he made before engaging in battle was a shepherd who had a large flock that he deftly shepherded with the help of an efficient shepherd dog. Approaching the shepherd one day, the General asked if the shepherd would kill the dog, to which the gentleman replied with an emphatic, “No”.
“I will give you a pound if you would kill your dog” said the General. That was a lot of money then. The shepherd thought about it for a few moments and finally, he agreed. As soon as he received the pound, he whistled to summon the dog, promptly seized it when it came, and slit its throat. Seeing that, the General went further,
“I will give you another pound for you to skin the dog.”
“Consider it done” replied the shepherd, reckoning that with two pounds, he would buy another dog with plenty of money left over. Minutes later, the dog was already skinned. Then the General said again, “How about another pound for you to cut the dog into chunky pieces?”
Again, the shepherd wasted no time complying. He now had three pounds! As General Maude turned to leave, the shepherd said to him, “Sir, for another pound, I could even eat up the whole dog.”
But the General was done. He already knew what he needed to know. He turned to his aide and said, “Baghdad is ready for taking. If this shepherd’s disloyalty and treachery to a faithful friend reflect how the people here treat those who are faithful and loyal to them, they will fall like a pack of cards.” On his return to his base, he told the soldiers, “Get ready. We invade and overrun Baghdad tomorrow.” They took Baghdad with very little, if any, resistance.
What is the price of your friendship? Can you be trusted?
Genuine friendship is SACRIFICIAL. This is such a scarce commodity in a world where most of our time is taken up by the acquisition of technology that seems to have robbed us of all human feeling. Even in business, we don’t have to see the customer if we have the payment gateway that enables credit card payments or bank lodgments. Paradoxically, our time is so taken up by the very things designed to give us more time and make our lives easier.
Spending so much time with machines – computers, our turbo-charged toys on wheels, television and telephones – we have none left to give to relationships. Even our social club memberships are primarily for selfish reasons! Many of us have all the ‘toys’ and yet are so lonely!
After teaching His disciples how to pray in John 11, Jesus gave them a scenario of what sacrificial friendship is about. A man received an unexpected visitor, who came in at midnight, apparently without notice. But he could not be turned back because he was friend to the host, who was obviously not prepared for a guest. That was not the real challenge.
The real problem was that the man had no food in the house to entertain this evidently famished guest. It was late and no shops would be open at that hour. Who else to turn to but another friend who obviously had retired to bed with his family for the night and was not expecting any interruption to his well-earned sleep? Definitely, the depth of their friendship must have given the late-night visitor the confidence to head for his friend’s house in the dead of the night and without notice. He knew he would not be turned back. In the same vein, his confidence in the quality of their friendship is what made the host turn to another friend for succour. Although Jesus said that his persistence got him what he wanted, the only reason why he could be that persistent was because of the quality and tested relationship that existed between him and his friend. Inconvenient benevolence or generosity is a hallmark of true friendship. Generosity that proceeds only out of convenience or affordability is no sacrifice.
ALSO READ FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE
A friend finds time for essential relationships. Anyone who finds it difficult to spare time for others is not a friend. Time, resources, emotions are essential ingredients of servicing relationships. True friendship is costly, but the focus is not the cost but the reason for the cost. No amount of money can buy true friendship. Conversely, you can never give too much to its cause. Anyone who regards you or your presence as a bother is at best an acquaintance, not a friend. True friends make time for friends.
Sacrifice is the true bond of relationships. When was the last time you shut down your activities to spend a day or even half a day with a friend? If there is nobody in your life that you can go the extra mile for without complaining even when it is done at great cost and inconvenience or there is nobody who can do the same for you, you may have been living like a mackerel!… continued
Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!