After everyone has become APC, what next?

“What gives you the impression that all of us can ever become APC?”

“When all the people that matter become APC, what else?”

“And who are those people that matter?”

”Are you still asking? The governors, the senators, the honourables, the political big-wigs!”

“I am disappointed! You mean anyone who is not a big man does not matter?”

“If you matter, will they be treating you the way they are treating you? And if you really matter, will you not prove to them that you matter?”

“I get your point! Even small-man Iran is proving to almighty America with its feeble punches that it matters!”

“You are the one calling Iran’s missiles feeble punches. My people say feeble punches are incomparable to no punches at all!”

“You are correct! Iran is leaving dents on both the US and Israel…”

“Even if they are scratches! Iran, however, is not my beef here today! The whole country is emptying into APC and it is not amusing at all!”

“I beg to disagree again! How can you describe the defection of a few elements as the entire country?”

“The people I am referring to here are those who have the country in the palm of their hands…”

“No! We the people are the ones who carry the country on our heads…”

“We are still saying the same thing! You the people carry the country and its problems on your head but they carry the country’s largesse on the palm of their hands, dispensing it as they desire. Only fools choose to carry problems instead of largesse.”

“I see! But the opposition parties are waxing stronger and…”

“I beg your pardon! Which opposition parties? The PDP is in disarray and may not field candidates in the coming elections…”

“That’s true! I was surprised that a judge was advising them to leave his court and go and put their house in order!”

“That is coded language! It means: End-of-the-road! Read the handwriting on the wall if you can! If you can’t, then get a Daniel to interpret for you!”

“Where will they get another biblical Daniel, the one that interpreted ‘Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin’ to the Babylonian king Belshazzar?”

“They don’t need to go that far! There is another Daniel right here at home; the one who recently returned triumphantly from the lion’s den of Al Jazeera and got the whole country talking!”

“You mean Daniel Bwala?”

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“Exactly!”

“And you call what everyone has described as a monumental national disgrace a triumphant return?”

“It is, my brother, if you understand what I mean! It is the triumph of the quota system and federal character! In a country bristling with talents and competence, you dare not put your best foot forward, but charlatans and deadwood must also be appointed into offices to give every section of the country a sense of belonging…”

“I beg to disagree! There are competent people in every section of the country — although some sections may be more blessed than the others. It is the fault of those ignoring the competent and picking the riff-raffs.”

“You have a point there but that does not vitiate the fact that the twin policy of federal character and quota system has done incalculable damage to the psyche of millions of Nigerians who, daily, are passed over for less competent people.”

“You are right. While other people are fighting tooth-and-nail for a second or third term in office, I know of a university professor who chose to quietly walk away after serving his first term instead of lobbying for a second term in office.”

“In this same Nigeria? That is very unusual.”

“A federal character person was appointed to be his boss; a boy who was still in secondary school when he had already become a professor!”

“Akika!”

“So, you see what I mean! That is one way they poison the system. When deadwood boss talents, frustration and disenchantment on one hand, and, oftentimes, incompetence, arrogance, vindictiveness and provincialism on the other combine to ensure that nothing works…”

“We must change the system…”

“Those benefiting from it will not let you. Beneficiaries of the status quo ante fight tooth-and-nail to preserve it…”

“Those at the receiving end should also fight to up-end it!”

“That is where I believe we are heading in Nigeria. When we are done with the needless distraction of party politics and the deception called democracy, we will have to face that task squarely.”

“I don’t understand!”

“Party politics is a distraction. All the parties belong to the same ideological spectrum. You must have heard people say they are different fingers of the same leprous hand. None of them will do anything differently if they get into power.”

“You mean all the noise Atiku and Obi are making all over the place will amount to nothing?”

“Nothing, my brother! They are all members of the same political class. That is why it is easy for them to defect effortlessly and fit in immediately. If Atiku’s son thinks his father is different from Tinubu or will perform better, will he defect from his father’s party into Tinubu’s party?”

“I see!”

“The next bombshell I expect is for Titi to follow suit!”

“You mean Atiku’s beloved wife?”

“Exactly! What else? The story is told of a warrior-king in those olden days who reportedly handed over the head of his own day-old child for potent magical powers because, according to him, your own child, your own blood, will not deceive you…”

“In those days, people were audacious…”

“Beg your pardon! Even now, people are more than audacious — our politicians especially! They fear no one — not even God! What do you make of a single political party swallowing an entire country? But this victory is Pyrrhic.”

“What do you mean? APC is on the way to turning the country into a one-party state…”

“The country has always been a one-party state. All the existing parties belong in the same ideological spectrum. We can equate them with many rooms in the same house under one roof…”

“You keep saying this!”

“Because it is the truth. It is the same circumstance that led to the rise and fall of PDP. Nothing glues them together!”

“I beg to disagree! Something glues them together — greed!”

“That being so, you are correct. The same greed is what will scatter them in the fullness of time.”

“And when shall that be?”

“PDP at its apogee boasted it would reign for 60 years but managed only 16 years. It may appear to some people now that APC will surpass that record, but it may not.”

“Everything points to the fact that APC will!”

“It is mere appearance; not substance. Have you witnessed a fire made with bamboo sticks?”

“How about that?”

“It burns brightly and fiercely for a short while but quickly fizzles out…”

“Like a candle in the wind?”

“Correct! APC has spent 10 years already. Give it another six years and wait to see what happens next.”

“I wish I had your kind of mindset. You think and talk more or less like a philosopher or prophet…”

“It is simple: After we all become APC, what next? Just ask yourself the question and everything begins to unravel quickly before your eyes. Even Nelson Mandela’s iconic party, the ANC, is losing grip and relevance in South Africa after how many years in power!”

“So, tell me, after we all must have become APC, what next?”

“The house will become too big for us to manage without its inherent contradictions tearing us apart. We will begin to step on one another’s toes. Each and every one of us will begin to demand what Germany’s Adolf Hitler called the ‘lebensraum’…”

“And what is the meaning of that?”

“Breathing or living space! Each of us will begin to crave and struggle for more space to achieve our individual ambitions. Don’t forget, it is one man’s ambition that brought all of us together. After achieving his ambition and he leaves the scene, APC may become like that television play titled ‘House of Commotion’…”

“Something akin to Fela’s Ojuelegba where confusion breaks bones?”

“Exactly! Strong men build empires; little men scatter them! That is the lesson history teaches, but men never listen.”

“Wike scattered PDP…”

“Mba! Not Wike. Atiku, Iyorchia Ayu, David Mark and Aminu Tambuwal scattered PDP. Wike only helped them to finish what they started.”

“Your reasoning baffles me at times…”

“By throwing PDP’s zoning formula overboard in 2022, allowing Atiku to contest and snatch the PDP presidential ticket from Wike, they started the rebellion led by Wike…”

“But with all the protagonists you mentioned out of PDP, shouldn’t the party settle down and put its house in order?”

“No one gathers a broken egg back into its shell. Neither does anyone recover the contents of spilled milk. Once the day breaks, it does not look back until it has completed its full cycle!”

“Ol’boy, why the incantations?”

“It may sound so, but that is the truth. Let me ask you a question: How many of the country’s problems has the defection of governors and top politicians into APC solved?”

“I don’t understand!”

“Why didn’t you understand? Has the defections stopped the insecurity walloping the country?”

“No! Instead, it is even getting worse!”

“Ok. Has it increased power supply?”

“Not at all! Rather, we have more darkness each passing day!”

“Ok. Has it led to the people enjoying fuel subsidy removal?”

“No! We only hear of billions of Naira allocated to states and local governments, but there is nothing on the ground to show for it.”

“Ok. Has it translated into better infrastructure all over the place?”

“No! Roads, hospitals, schools, etc. degenerate every day.”

“What, then, is the purpose of the defections? Is it not possible that there is a divine purpose for what is happening?”

“I don’t understand!”

“Can it not be that God is gathering all these people together under the same roof so He does not have to run helter-skelter looking for them on the day of judgement?”

“So he can make a quick business of them in a jiffy?”

“That is one scenario; it is a possibility. The day God decides to confuse their language — like He did at the Tower of Babel — they will all be under the same roof! Or like when biblical Samson brought down the roof over…”

“Are you praying for such a day?”

“Ah-ah? Were you not the one who just said nothing good has come out of their gathering together?”

“Yes, I said so; I am not denying.”

“The wickedness and man’s inhumanity to man that we witness at every turn are enough indications that Nigeria has turned the corner. I used to think we could still retrace our footsteps…”

“It is said that if you don’t know where you are going, you can at least figure out where you are coming from…”

“Nigerian leaders have burned the bridges from the past. And they have no roadmap for the future. Kofi Awoonor’s ‘Songs of Sorrow’ graphically speaks to our situation: Our leaders have ‘led us among the sharps of the forest/Returning is not possible/And going forward is a great difficulty…’”

“So, answer your own question: After everyone has become APC, what next?”

“Let that be a topic for another day!”