Most of us are likely to experience regret to some extent at some time in our lifetime. After a year of great loss, it can be tempting to look back and think of the things you could have done better or differently and start to regret them. Many people repeat specific patterns or make the same mistake many times before they realise such behaviour no longer serves them.
Regrets can be in various forms. It can be turning down a scholarship in your senior year of high school or your day-to-day interactions where you said something unkind or offensive.
Regrets are negative emotions that depend on counterfactual thinking.
Counterfactual thinking is looking back and imagining scenarios to convince ourselves that things could be better.
For instance, thinking you could have put more effort into your last relationship.
Regrets can make you feel that your actions alone could fix everything. It can also make you conclude that you will never find anyone else with respect to that example.
Regret can lead to motivation and personal growth or self-loathing and mental issues like anxiety and depression. Learning from and letting go of regret is beneficial.
1. Learn from past mistakes
People can’t move forward with clarity when they chastise themselves for past mistakes. You won’t be able to learn from mistakes when you antagonize them.
Use past mistakes as an opportunity to learn and be inspired to make better and new choices.
2. Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion prompts self-forgiveness. Learn to forgive yourself. You must realise that the mistakes you made are in the past. You need to let go and practise forgiving yourself.
3. Set new goals
Instead of obsessing over past mistakes and making yourself feel bad, you should consider creating or setting new goals for the future.
After setting new goals, celebrate when you meet your desired goals, create more positive outcomes, or respond better to situations.
4. Do things that make you feel good
Get busy and do things that make you feel good. Get in touch with an old friend and write that book you have been thinking of writing.
Positive distractions can be valuable. A new focus or opportunity will distract you from the negative feelings of regret and you are less likely to think about the past if you are too busy enjoying yourself.
5. Heal from the past
Allow yourself to heal and replenish. It could be something you would have done better or a lost relationship. The past is gone. Being stuck in worry and stress will keep you locked in unhelpful cycles.
6. Exercise
Exercise helps to reduce depression and anxiety and is beneficial for our mental health.
You could consider joining the gym or taking up running if you feel stuck in a cycle of guilt and regret. Engaging in physical activity helps overcome regrets.
Nothing stays the same forever, including our feelings. Almost everyone makes mistakes in life, and living with the effects of regret can create all kinds of health problems. Therefore, follow the above effective ways to overcome regret.
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