WHEN love goes unrequited, heartbreak is bound to occur. How we react to events and the aftermath is really important to our mental health. This week on WhatsApp Conversation, the conversation is about the experiences with heartbreak and how our respondents got over it.
I was severely manipulated, and it was a very painful experience. She called me and proposed that we talk after all my efforts to convince her to get back. Guess what happened? She did not plan to talk, all she wanted to do was to send me on an errand. She had a package to give to someone in my house, I was just the willing scapegoat. To think that I raced to her place to see her at the speed of light, thinking we were actually going to talk things out. Love will have you do really nasty things though.
He was decent actually, he told me via video call, and it was all the regular line ‘you deserve better and all that’. That night felt like the end of the world. Nothing made sense anymore, I cried like nobody’s business. For weeks, I just kept asking questions. When would this end? When do I stop thinking about him? I was in something good and I ruined it because I thought there was still a chance with us? I told myself “this has got to stop. I don’t know how but get out of my head this second. I want to live. I want to explore. I don’t need this.” However,I love him. Even after everything, I’m in love with this emotionally-absent being and I don’t know how to stop.
It was distressing. The lady blogs, she had her way with words and the breakup note she left me was English at its finest. The first few paragraphs read like a love letter, got to the middle and I was almost choking. Anu got me in my feelings before she wrote that sadly, she could not go on with the relationship. For days, I was just in the room, I missed work and got queried too. I did not pick calls; didn’t chat, I just kept staring into space. I am glad I am over it now.
After she broke up with me, I looked up every poem I ever wrote her, the ones I wrote while thinking of her, the ones I didn’t send to her and I deleted all. I thought it would be a way of removing the things that were between us. Needless to say, I still think of her and the things that should have been till date.
Whenever I am hurt, I take solace in pouring my energy into chores. That is my coping mechanism, and my heartbreak was no different. After I got the call where Femi told me the relationship was over, I started rearranging my room and then did the dishes. That was how I kept dealing with the issue. I am over it now.
I had to battle insomnia for eight months, it was an awful time. As soon as I was trying to drift off to sleep, I would see his face again and I would jerk awake. Thankfully, it led me to yoga, and now, I am a pro yoga. I have not given up on love though, but I am looking really well before I leap.
She told me that she did not want to get hypertension thinking too much about me. She used that as an excuse, I thought she was so much in love with me. Meanwhile, she was planning to get back with her ex. The sad part was that the guy broke her heart all over again and scammed her financially too.
He looked like he had affections for me so I wasted those months sticking to something that wasn’t worth it. He looked at me and saw a meaningless fling. I looked at him and saw a possible future. How did we get here? We were so different, I was so blind. No, I didn’t think I could change him. I just thought he was oblivious of his feelings, that he did not mean it when he said he was done with that.
Yet, my stupid self couldn’t stop. I just took one glimpse and fell in love. I wish I could stop it. It was an obsession. I did not allow anyone to treat me like that. All he had to do was to mention my name and I’d melt. God, I used to talk about him everyday. I remembered every single detail. It stuck with me. I couldn’t stop. I just wandered around thinking about him and he was behaving like nothing changed? We were happy though; I knew he was. Or was he not? Was he pretending to be happy with me? Did he think I was too fragile to call me out and end whatever it was we were doing? I told this guy I liked the feeling of being with him and he threw it at my face? Lord, did he not care or is he totally stupid?
Next week, the topic of discussion will be: What is your view of the belief that men are biologically wired to cheat? To be part of the next edition, send your response to 0813361345.
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