Understanding how to listen (III)

We have been discussing the topic of listening. Listening is different from hearing. Hearing is the physical ability to perceive sound with your ears. If you are not hearing impaired hearing is an automatic involuntary action.

Listening however is paying attention to the words and sounds you receive by hearing and then understanding, decoding and interpreting and responding to it correctly and appropriately.

Listeig is a skill we must acquire and master.

How to master the art of listening:

1)      Attention:

* Always give the speaker your full undivided attention by directing your mind to what is being said.

* Avoid distractions – concentrate and focus on the speaker and what is being said. Keep your mind on the speaker and the subject of discussion.

2)      Attitude:

* Patience to hear the person out, don’t jump to conclusions.

* Willingness to properly understand what is being said (avoid biases, prejudices, stereotyping, etc).

* Encourage speaker to speak by showing you are listening.

* Be motivated to listen so your response can be accurate. Do this by understanding the benefits of listening among which are:

1. a) Ability to make informed decisions and right judgment.

“Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.” Proverbs 18:13 Message.

“He who answers a matter before he hears the facts–it is folly and shame to him.” Proverbs 18:13 Amplified.

1. a)   Getting new insight.

“Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.” Proverbs 18:15 Message.

1. c) Getting good advice. “Listen to good advice if you want to live well, an honored guest among wise men and women.” Proverbs 15:31 Message.

3)      Assessment:

The whole idea of listening is for you to respond accurately and effectively and this will only happen if you assess what you hear properly.

Assessment involves evaluation, understanding and making the right decision, choices and judgment.

Listening is a skill we must develop. It’s a deliberate act and art .

“How do you listen? Do you listen with your projections, through your projection, through your ambitions, desires, fears, anxieties, through hearing only what you want to hear, only what will be satisfactory, what will gratify, what will give comfort, what will for the moment alleviate your suffering? If you listen through the screen of your desires, then you obviously listen to your own voice; you are listening to your own desires. And is there any other form of listening? Is it not important to find out how to listen not only to what is being said but to everything – to the noise in the streets, to the chatter of birds, to the noise of the tramcar, to the restless sea, to the voice of your husband, to your wife, to your friends, to the cry of a baby? Listening has importance only when on is not projecting one’s own desires through which one listens. Can one put aside all these screens through which we listen, and really listen?” Jiddu Krishnamurti

CONCLUDED

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