IT’s been suggested that one in every four women will have problems reaching orgasm at some stage in their life, and 25-35% may never have experienced orgasm before. It is not uncommon for women to have difficulty reaching orgasm during intercourse. In fact, an estimated 70% of women don’t ever have penetrative orgasms.

For many women, the problem is inability to reach orgasm during penetration but not with other forms of stimulation. Such women may find that changing their sexual position will help. The common man-on-top position rarely provides adequate clitoral stimulation to trigger orgasm, but some women find that if they are on top then orgasm is easier. However, for some couples the way their bodies fit together means that it won’t ever be possible without some extra stimulation from a finger.

To the woman

If you can’t reach orgasm during any form of stimulation, particularly if you have never achieved orgasm, then the first thing you need to do is work out what’s causing the problem.

Medical reasons

There are very few medical reasons why a woman can’t reach orgasm but if you have a diagnosed neurological, vascular or hormone problem then check with your doctor. The problem could be a side effect of medication and very occasionally pelvic surgery can cause nerve damage and loss of sensation.

Inadequate stimulation

The most common physical cause is a lack of adequate stimulation. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. The second most common factor is tiredness or general illness. Our bodies need to be in general good health in order to enjoy sex.

Psychological causes:

Many women experience a range of psychological problems that make orgasm elusive. The most common is known as “spectatoring”. When an orgasm seems to be taking for ever, many women detach from what’s happening and become orgasm watchers. Anxiety increases and rather than enjoying the moment, they’re getting increasingly impatient with themselves.

Stress:

Another thing that affects female orgasm is stress. If she is stressed and thinks of problems, sex will not work. Relationship problems are also a major contributor to sexual dissatisfaction. If there is unresolved tension with your partner, then your physical relationship will inevitably suffer.

To be continued next week.

In response to my readers’ request, I have packaged some of my previous articles into a book with the title: ENJOYING GREAT SEX LIFE. You can call 08112658560 to order for the book.

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