Domestic conflicts between parents can have a profound impact on a child’s upbringing, shaping their emotional, psychological, and social development. As a family life practitioner, I have witnessed the devastating effects of destructive conflicts on children’s well-being and development. In this article, I explore the intricate dynamics of domestic conflicts and their impact on children, drawing upon empirical studies and theoretical frameworks.
in the paper delivered by R. M. Cavanaugh where he conducted research expressed by 147 teenagers on a confidential questionnaire during consecutive initial visits to an adolescent medicine clinic in a university hospital setting. Among the salient findings, 44% had thought about running away from home, 42% reported having been subjected to some form of abuse, and 33% had felt like hurting themselves or someone else. Twenty-eight percent reported conflict in their home, 27% were having problems with their family, and 20% were concerned about their parent’s relationship. In addition, 27% worried about the physical or mental health of family members and 22% believed that a family member had a problem with alcohol or other drugs. Twelve percent did not have a confidant with whom to discuss their innermost concerns. The data demonstrate a high frequency of stressful and anxiety-provoking family situations as reported by adolescents on a confidential questionnaire. Pediatricians who wish to provide comprehensive services to their young adult patients must be prepared to discuss such issues on a routine basis.
One notable work that resonated with me is Robert E. Emery’s book, “The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive.” Emery’s research highlights the importance of minimizing conflict between parents during and after divorce, as high levels of conflict can significantly harm children’s emotional well-being and development. He emphasizes the role of co-parenting in promoting children’s adjustment post-divorce and provides guidance on effective communication strategies, conflict resolution techniques, and ways to foster positive parent-child relationships.
Understanding the attendant consequences of domestic conflicts is crucial for developing interventions that promote healthy family dynamics and foster optimal child development. While there can never be a total absence of family conflict, managing conflicts constructively is essential. Destructive domestic conflicts create a tense and emotionally charged environment, directly impacting a child’s emotional well-being and cognitive development.
It’s important for family coaches to impress it on parents to be aware of the impact their conflicts can have on their children and to take steps to minimize their exposure to conflict whenever possible. This may involve seeking professional help, improving communication and conflict resolution skills, and creating a supportive and nurturing environment for their children.
Research suggests that children who experience frequent and intense parental conflicts may be at higher risk for developing mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) later in life
We cannot overrule the effect of physical health issues. Chronic stress resulting from parental conflicts can have adverse effects on a child’s physical health,
leading to issues such as headaches, stomachaches, and weakened immune function.
The academic problems is another issue to address. Children may find it difficult to focus on their studies or perform well academically when they are preoccupied with their parents’ conflicts. This can impact their educational attainment and future prospects
To address this challenge, I suggest the following interventions and prevention strategies:
1. Family coaching as a proactive intervention to help couples identify and address potential issues before they escalate into conflicts. This will ultimately mitigate against inherent challenges that may come up
2. Evidence-based approaches, including family counseling, parenting education, and support programs, aimed at mitigating the impact of parental discord on children.
3. Building and maintaining a strong bond between couples, contributing significantly to the overall health and stability of the family unit.
The foregoing would create a foundation for the following roles that I recommend that a Family Coach should play in helping couples navigate domestic conflicts and foster a healthy family environment:
1. Identifying potential issues: Family coaches help couples recognize early warning signs of conflict and work with them to address these issues before they escalate.
2. Improving communication: Coaches teach effective communication strategies to help couples listen actively, express themselves clearly, and understand each other’s perspectives.
3. Conflict resolution: Family coaches provide guidance on constructive conflict resolution techniques, enabling couples to manage disagreements in a healthy and productive manner.
4. Emotional support: Coaches offer emotional support and guidance to help couples manage stress, anxiety, and other emotions that may arise during conflicts.
5. Building resilience: Family coaches help couples develop resilience and coping mechanisms to better navigate challenges and conflicts.
6. Fostering a positive family culture: Coaches work with couples to create a positive family culture, promoting a supportive and nurturing environment for all family members.
7. Setting goals: Family coaches help couples set realistic goals and develop strategies to achieve them, promoting a sense of unity and purpose.
8. Providing resources: Coaches may connect couples with additional resources, such as therapists, support groups, or educational materials, to further support their growth and development.
By working with a family coach, couples can proactively build a strong, healthy relationship and create a supportive environment for their children to thrive.
In conclusion, destructive domestic conflicts between parents have far-reaching consequences for children’s upbringing. As practitioners and policy-makers, we must work together to find lasting solutions to this challenge, promoting healthy family dynamics and fostering environments conducive to positive child development. By emphasizing prevention and early intervention, we can create a brighter future for our children
Akinropo Akinola is the visionary founder of Parenmark Consulting, a pioneering parenting and fatherhood initiative based in Lagos, Nigeria. As a leader in private field research, Akinola is driven by a passion to revolutionize the art of parenting and nurturing African children. Through Parenmark Consulting, he is dedicated to enhancing the quality of parenting and family life by providing expert education and guidance for Parenting and Family Life coaches across Nigeria and Africa.
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