A man went out with his mistress in his vehicle. They were sighted by the man’s wife at a shopping mall. The enraged wife attempted to block the husband’s car with her own. The husband beat her to it and raced out of the shopping complex. Not wanting to let go of the opportunity, the wife chased after the duo. Then began the sprint. The husband wanted to escape with the ‘side chick’, but the wife didn’t want to miss the chance of seeing who the husband was dating. In her bid to overtake her husband’s car and probably confront him and the mistress, she got into over-speeding, lost control of her SUV, veered off the road, hit her vehicle against a tree, damaged the Toyota SUV beyond repairs and got herself fatally wounded.
Seeing from the rearview mirror what had befallen his wife, the husband stopped his vehicle, raced back to where his wife’s car veered off the road, and raised the alarm to get others to join him in rescuing his wife. But it was too late. The wife died and the husband had to announce the demise of his wife as well as the genesis of the pursuit that stopped other pursuits for his wife.
The story had all the trappings of a Nollywood or Bollywood love movie, but this was not a fiction, it was the reality of MrSonnie and Mrs Claret Bassey, both of who were lawyers based in Calabar, Cross River State capital.
But the story did not end with the death of MrsBassey. Her husband was very jolted when the finality of his wife’s fatality eventually hit him. He was so overwhelmed with guilt that he went into shock. The shock degenerated into coma and he was reported dead, though this was later denied. While it is not yet clear whether the man is dead or still in coma, what is not contentious is that he went into coma after he lost his wife.
Going into shock which took him into coma after losing his wife in the tragic incident suggests that he valued and probably loved his wife and didn’t want to lose her. But then the questions arise; if indeed he loved his wife why did he get involved in an extramarital affair? If he loved his wife why was he not content with her? If he did love his wife why would another woman appeal to him to the extent of taking her out in broad daylight?
But that is the mystery of love. Loving one person does not stop the heart from longing for another. But wherever this happens, it is usually not without heartache and emotional torture for a member of the trio. Therein lies the misery of love. But it is also a mystery. Why should love, which is so sweet, so wonderful and so beautiful produce misery and agony? Why should anybody suffer because they are in love? Why should love cause pain? Why should love produce ache? Can fresh and stale water spring from the same source?
Prince Charles (as he was then known) and Camilla (the current Queen Consort) met in 1970 through a mutual friend, Lucia Santa Cruz, and fell in love with each other. But they broke up a few years later with each of them getting married to another person. However, despite the break, their hearts kept longing for each other. Another mystery, if they loved each other that much why didn’t they go ahead to tie the nuptial knot? The longing got them to be amorously involved with each other despite being married to other persons. Princess Diana, Prince Charles’ wife, felt so choked in the marriage that she said in an interview, “There were three of us in the marriage, so it was a bit crowded.” Both Charles and Camilla eventually divorced their respective partners and got married to each other in 2005.
Perhaps the reason for the chase MrsBassey gave her husband and his mistress on that fateful day was to find out who was crowding up her marriage. She probably wanted to find out who was turning her home of joy into an abode of misery. She probably wanted to see what the lady had that she lacked. She was probably on the chase to plead with the mistress, like Dolly Parton did in her 1974 album, not to take her man even if she could. If that was her reason would she be wrong to embark on the chase that put paid to her life? Would she be wrong to try and put an end to what was causing her sorrow?
Since the incident, the world has come down heavily on Mr Sonnie Bassey for not just causing his wife pain through his extramarital engagements but also for being the cause of her death. If Bassey survives the state of coma, it is doubtful if he would be able to live a normal life. What story would he tell his children about their mother’s death? How would he relate with his in-laws? What would he tell his pastors and co-parishioners about his escapade? Life would never be the same for him.
Bassey’s marital vows forbade him from any extramarital affairs under any guise, but though his body was with his wife, his heart was with someone else. His marriage to his wife did not stop him from desiring another woman. So, should he have followed his heart or lived by the letters of his vows? Should he have looked away from where his heart was headed? Should he have forced himself to redirect his attention to his wife even when his passion was elsewhere? There couldn’t have been an easy option for Bassey and that is the mystery of love that produces misery.
The best way to avoid the misery that love spawns is to steer clear of the mystery of marrying or being in love with one person and desiring another. But how many men and women, married or not, can live by this dictate? Maybe less than 10 per cent. And that is another mystery.
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