The greatest challenge to respect and love in marriage

In our analysis of enjoying great marriage, we have discussed respect and love as the basic needs of husbands and wives respectively. This conclusion of relationship experts however has a poser to it. This is about what to do in situations where the wife is disrespectful or the husband is unloving. How would the spouse of a disrespectful wife, and an unloving husband be able to satisfy the basic needs of love and respect respectively? Is it not asking for too much from such spouses?

This poser, to my mind is like saying that a disrespectful wife does not deserve love from her husband, while an unloving husband does not deserve respect from his wife. This is like using the law of sowing and reaping, or using the computer language of “garbage in, garbage out “, meaning what you put in, is what you will get. Should it be so in marriage? Absolutely No! The principle guiding the concept of respect and love in marriage is that one should do the right thing, irrespective of what the other spouse does. This can be likened to the biblical injunction that one must not overcome evil with evil. Rather, one should overcome evil with good. Consequently, it means that a husband should love his wife even if his wife is disrespectful, and a wife should respect her husband, even if he is unloving. Anything contrary will make the marriage a time bomb that is bound to explode with time. This is the reason why marriages of many years are crashing, or ending in divorce. This is due to the fact that if a couple operates by the principle of “tit for tat”, or ‘ do me, I do you “, the outcome will be “fire on the mountain”.

A great marriage will need partners who are ready to do the right thing always. If this principle is adhered to, there will be peace in the marriage. You will have husband loving the wife, and wife respecting the husband. But, how realistic is it for one to love a disrespectful wife, or to respect an unloving husband? That is why I call this the greatest challenge to the concept of respect and love in marriage.  It is absolutely a difficult thing to do, but it is practicable. As a matter of fact, many married persons are into it, and we have positive results of changed spouses. That is, spouses changing due to the fact that their partners choose to do the right thing, loving and respecting them. It is a case of love won, or respect won.  In such cases, the issue of “opposite attracts” may be fingered as the magic wand. That is, the disrespectful attracted the loving, and vice versa.

Another factor that may be at play is the religious inclination of partners, which allows for tolerance and patience to prevail in such instances. This is a factor that has helped many people to weather the storms in the marriage setting, dousing the tension at the home front. When it is absent, law of “an eye for an eye”, reigns, and fire keeps burning, till divorce “do them part”. However, this issue of religious intervention must not be stretched too far, otherwise it becomes difficult for it to sustain the marriage. Married persons should not take their spouses for granted. If one does, the consequences may be grave. If the religious does not walk away from the marriage. The God of the religious will definitely fight for his own. Or if you are not the religious type, then expect nemesis to catch up with you, sooner or later.

The admonition here to married couples is to operate on loving and respecting each other. As a matter of fact, the two needs are interwoven, with a thin line serving as the divider. You are bound to love the one you respect and vice versa. So, don’t make things difficult for your spouse by being disrespectful or unloving. It does no good to the marriage at the end of the day. At least, you definitely won’t get a great marriage out of a scenario of lack of respect or love. All you will get is, “a hen that lands on a rope, both the hen and the rope suffer the instability.  So, let us stop being difficult to each other in marriage. It will not bring about the great marriage which should be the desire of all married couples.






Buy and read digital replicas of your TRIBUNE titles by subscribing through E-VENDING


Customs Closes Gate To Stop Oyo Govt From Returning 1,800 Bags Of Rice
The imbroglio between the Oyo State government and the Nigeria Customs Service (NCS) over the 1,800 bags of rice continued on Wednesday with the Oyo/Osun command closing its gate and refusing the state government access into its Ibadan premises to return the bags of rice… Read full story

Nigeria To Fully Repay N1.224trn IMF Loan By 2025
Nigeria is to fully repay the $3.4 billion (N1.224 trillion at N360/$1) International Monetary Fund (IMF) loan approved on Tuesday by 2025. This is as a finance expert, Professor Uche Uwaleke, warned that government’s decision to take the loan was unreasonable… Read full story

Covid-19: Osun Raises Alarm Over Influx Of Zamfara Youths Into State
Osun State government on Wednesday night raised the alarm over the influx of Zamfara youths into the state. The Deputy Chief of Staff to Governor Adegboyega Oyetola, Prince Adeyanju Abdullah Binuyo, who disclosed this in an interview, said the government was aware of the influx but urged the residents… Read full story

Herbal Solution To Combat Coronavirus Will Be Ready Soon, Says Ooni Of Ife
The Ooni of Ife, Oba Enitan Ogunwusi, on Wednesday, said that the herbal solution to fight the coronavirus dpandemic is at the advanced stage with traditional medicine practitioners. The traditional ruler made this known in an interview with newsmen in Abeokuta, the Ogun State capital, shortly after donating two… Read full story

Vaccines: UK To Spend £330m Per Year On 75m Children In Poor Countries
The UK, on Wednesday, confirmed that it will be the largest supporter of the international alliance to vaccinate children against deadly diseases, saving millions of lives… Read full story

Runny Nose, Sneezing Unlikely Signs Of COVID-19
When Mrs Adene Haruna returned home from the office, she immediately decided on self-isolation because she had been with a colleague with a cold and who was feeling unwell a few days back that was later confirmed to have COVID-19… Read full story

Covid-19: Kano Govt Arrests Fleeing Patient, Trails Two Others
The Director Infection Control Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital (AKTH) and chairman, Risk Communication Committee on COVID-19, Professor Isah Abubakar has confirmed the arrest of one of the three patients who fled after testing positive for coronavirus in Kano State… Read full story

COVID-19: Governors To Establish Common Macroeconomic Assumptions For 2020 Budget Review
In response to the fiscal impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on sub-national governments, the Nigeria Governors Forum (NGF) Secretariat on Wednesday unveiled plans to provide technical assistance to state governments to establish common macroeconomic assumptions that will help states prepare revised budgets for 2020… Read full story

Lagos Govt Suspends Okada Operations, Says Buses, Others To Carry 60% Of Passenger Capacity
Lagos State government on Wednesday introduced strict framework for movement and re-opening of businesses ahead of the Monday expiration of the lockdown imposed by the Federal Government on Lagos, Ogun states and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT)… Read full story

65 Fun Seekers Land In Police Net For Holding Birthday Party Inside Hotel In Lagos
Sixty five people who came to have a birthday party at a hotel in Lagos State on Wednesday have been arrested by men of the state police command. They were arrested while dancing and making merry at Park Hotel, 84, Augusto Close, Oko Oba in Lagos, as some of them, including women, were found with hard drugs… Read full story

Hope Rises For Akeugbagold’s Twins As Abductors Communicate With Family’s ‘Big Brother’
There is hope in the horizon for the release of the abducted twin of Ibadan-based Islamic cleric, Taofeek Akeugbagold, as the abductors have established line of communication with the family. Tribune Online gathered that the abductors are communicating not with the parents of the twins but with someone referred to… Read full story

EDITORIAL: Covid-19: Evacuating Nigerians Abroad
THE report that there are 300 Nigerians awaiting evacuation from the Guangzhou province of China is one which should make the blood of every patriotic Nigerian boil. According to the Civil Liberties Organisation (CLO), the Nigerians consisting of businesswomen and men are currently starving, having… Read full story

The Role Of Traditional Rulers – Sanusi The Genius: A Case Study (6)
IN rounding off my discussions on the paramountcy of traditional rulership in pre-colonial and post-independent Nigeria, I consider it expedient to reiterate the need to accord monarchs and traditional chiefs across Nigeria the much-needed constitutional recognition in the running of governmental affairs across the… Read full story

You might also like

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More