Stemming the spate of deaths from domestic violence

IN addition to the recent sad death of Khadijat Adenike Oluboyo allegedly for ritual purposes by her boyfriend, I read with utmost dismay the disheartening story of Chidinmma who was reportedly beaten and battered to death by her husband, Iyke, in Delta State. Chidinma, a mother of two, was confirmed dead by family members who admitted that she had been serially abused and assaulted by Iyke in the past until she gave up the ghost during the last attack due to severe injuries. However, these two cases are just instances of the many reports of death resulting from domestic violence that is suddenly on an upsurge in the country. Though it is hard to state the exact number of occurrences of domestic violence and abuse in Nigeria because of the silence that surrounds it, the truth is that it remains a muted killer that has claimed the lives of many people, especially women. We are told that everyday, three women are killed by an intimate partner and one in four women have suffered violence from such intimate partners. To put it differently, nearly half of all murdered women are killed by romantic partners. Yet, so rarely do we see articles exploring the depths of the menace as well as the underlying issue of why women endure and remain in abusive relationships and marriages until fatalities are recorded.

It is difficult to imagine what relationship could possibly be worth the horrific conflict, mental mutilation, bruises and busted lips and in the end and at worst, death from the hands of a punishing, irate lover or husband! The question that stares us in the face in the midst of the burgeoning cases of death (especially of women) through domestic violence is: why does a woman have to stay with a man who mistreats her so badly? While many survivors canvass the argument about leaving any relationship not being good for their children, it would seem that financial dependency is perhaps one of the major reasons for enduring abuse from an intimate partner. Abuse is about control and many victims have limited access to resources. So often, survivors of abuse have to start again from the scratch as they are forced to flee their homes with little or no money to support themselves and possibly their children. Hence, victims often minimize the abuse as a way to cope with questions like; “Where would I go to?, and who will I start with after, for instance, two kids already?’ “

More so, gender stereotypes make violence easier to justify and can prevent women from reporting abuse, and seek to endure it instead. These are in the form of cultural norms helping to shape the way women choose to respond to violence at home and in their relationships.. Women in Nigeria as well as in other African countries, are expected not to wash their dirty linens in public. As a consequence, victims prefer to silently tolerate abuse than walk away. Besides, the society, through cultural and religious precepts, continually give the impression and perception that a woman without a male partner may have something wrong with her. In which case, no woman wants to be seen outside of relationship and marriage and would do everything to give the façade of being under a man.

This is the sense in which women would look for every and any excuse to stay even in an abusive relationship and marriage with such thinking as “love conquers all”, “he is the husband of my youth”, “I want my son/daughter to have a father”, and so on. And as far as religion is concerned, divorce is not part of the bargain in a marriage no matter the abuse in it as the union is for better and for worse! It should, therefore, be understandable why victims in Nigeria hardly ever receive full support from the society given the attitude of the society to often see the woman as being responsible for and inviting the abuse. This is reflected in a 2012 study which finds that only 39.7% of women who were abused in Nigeria sought help from others, such as law enforcement officials, medical professionals, or even friends and relatives. In the same vein, police officers, who are predominantly male, are also not immune to cultural norms and often see domestic violence as a private issue, which lowers their interest in properly investigating or prosecuting it.

Understanding intimate partner violence

Furthermore, state officials have long lamented the high death toll arising from domestic violence especially for women, yet little efforts are put into prevention programs while the attempts to toughen penalties for abusers are resisted. Several measures to combat domestic violence died in the legislature and a huge number of reported abuse cases never saw the light of the day through police tardiness. It is regrettable in this regard that while the country professes deep concern about domestic violence, it continues to maintain a legal system with laws that evidently encourages and justifies domestic violence such as section 55(1)(d) of the Nigerian Penal Code applicable in Northern Nigeria which sanctions any act including beating by the husband for the purpose of correcting the wife!

On the whole, there is no silver bullet that can instantly eliminate every form of domestic violence going on in the society. Nevertheless, there is need to confront and tackle the root causes identified here of the phenomenon in order to minimize it and eventually eliminate the spate of death resulting from it in the long run. In this wise, a recent research suggests that there is a direct and significant link between a country’s level of gender equality and actual rates of domestic violence, telling us of the need to aspire to raise the profile and consciousness of women and infuse gender equity and equality in the society in order to combat the rising cases of death from domestic violence. In essence, economic and social empowerment of women would contribute to changing the cultural norms that are permissive of domestic violence. Hence, financial literacy programs targeting women and low-income populations should be adopted as they are found to have been useful and successful in many more developed countries.

We, of course, must ensure that such programmes incorporate information that is specifically targeted to the unique and complex safety concerns faced by domestic violence survivors in Nigeria as well as cater to improving a victim’s ability to get the resources necessary to better manage and eventually leave abusive relationships and thus, bring the spate of reoccurring deaths to a halt. We need to wake up to the reality that when women are safe, the society at large is invariably in better security.