Senate’s Christian practice bill

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If Ahmad Lawan and his co-travellers have their way, a contraption called the National Council for Christian Education (NCCE) will be the next absurdity thrust upon a criminally oppressed populace. It has already passed second reading, and that’s no surprise because it is a servile Senate. In November 2019, Lawan told anyone who cared to listen that any request coming from Buhari was “good for the nation” and the Senate would take immediate action on it! He has approved every absurdity under the sun ever since. In November 2021, Lawan’s Senate approved the sums of $16,230,077,718, €1,020,000,000 and $125,000, the Senate then “asked the President to forward the terms and conditions of the loans from the funding agencies to the National Assembly.” In other words, the Senate approved what it had not yet examined. It is currently doing its level best to give President Buhari, who leaves office in two weeks, an $800m facility. And so I expect the Senate to pass the bilious bill sponsored by Senator Binos Yaroe (Adamawa South) seeking “to regulate and set standards for the practice of Christianity in Nigeria.”

When established, Yaroe claimed with a bold face, the NCCE would banish “inappropriate practice” of religion, which according to him had caused crisis in the past. Per Senator Istifanus Gyang (Plateau North), “improperly practised religion” had fostered radicalism, and the bill when passed would create a curriculum for Christian education. After all, as Gyang noted, religion could be a source of strength and national solidarity. On his part, Senator Abba Moro said the bill was ‘apt’ given that some youngsters had been deceived by radical religious figures.

Naturally, the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), the brain behind the bill, gave it warm endorsement. In a statement signed by Rev Ozumba Nicodemus, its National Director, Education, Youth and Women Development, it denied any intent to regulate Christianity in Nigeria, declaring instead that the bill “co-sponsored by our beloved Christian legislators” would only “establish a regulatory council for Christian education that will oversee curriculum development and monitor what our children are being taught in schools.” The bill, it added, would “formalize Christian education as a course of study in our tertiary institutions and accord recognition and validity to the certificates gotten from our Bible and theological schools.”

CAN and the senators are saying slightly different things, but the arguments are self-defeating. Christian education is already formalized in Nigeria, and I do not know what CAN means by conferring “validity” on certificates issued by theological schools since the Ministry of Education already has a list of approved schools. But if CAN sounds coy, the senators sound creepy. Just how do you regulate the practice of Christianity when ideas, traditions and opinions differ? One man goes to the centre of town armed with soap and sponge, reciting incantations and bathing misfortune off a devotee’s head; another cracks coconut on a piece of rock with ‘holy’ venom. Both are Christians. If, like me, you were in the Christ Apostolic Church as a child, you know all about the power of prayer and omi iye (the water of life), which is water fetched from the church well but consecrated with prayer, and believed to be potent in dealing with diseases. One Christian is so holy that he watches no TV and wears many suits of the same colour to create a false aura of modesty; another swears by the shrine of “Mary, the mother of God,” and yet another wants to enter heaven with Koranic incantations (“kewu ni ng o fi wo’le, ile ologo, ile alayo…”). They are all Christians.

One man holding a wooden travesty invites “Holy Michael,” an angel that he does not see, to “come use your sword”; another holding a bell proclaims liberty for a town and a state. Services also differ: some sing like dead people, hardly moving their bodies; others twist like catfish, dancing to the rhythm of pure gbedu. Some go to church to cry every Sunday, saying that they are unworthy: for others, church is pure festival. So how do you regulate the practice of Christianity? I would be the first casualty. I believe in the Son of God but not “God the Son,” because there is no way a human being could have made this vast universe. But I have utmost respect for those who do not believe like I do, and even those who believe that God does not exist at all, because the fundamental human right to go to hell is enshrined in the constitution. I hope Yaroe and his theocratic dictators will not legislate me out of existence.

Most Christians worship on Sunday, but some do on Saturday, so how do you set standards for Christian practice? Indeed, why should you set standards for religious practice? This is dangerous terrain. The Nigerian constitution already defines punishable behaviour, and anyone who strays into unapproved territory will be confined behind bars, so why seek to impose theocratic dictatorship on a free populace? How can church leaders who are financial brigands and cheats set standards for anybody? When did senators assume the powers of the Holy Bible? How can they set standards for us when they are not better than us? These criminals who rob the nation blind, have they set standards for themselves? When issues of money crop up, they throw away religion and act like the devil. But they preach to us like angels. They conspire with their Muslim colleagues to make life a nightmare for Nigerians. Mr. Regulator, have you regulated yourself?

It is clear that these senators are idle, so let’s find something for them to do. Look at Plateau State where, decades after the cessation of tin mining, the people still confront environmental threats. I invite Gyang and his co-travellers from Plateau State to propose a bill to address this problem. Fraudsters!!

Re: The lynching of Ike Ekweremadu

Well done, Mr. Awolaja, on the topic ‘ The lynching of Ike Ekweremadu. The true episode will made known soon. Funsho Dominic: 07039393153

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Thank you, Abiodun, for your insight and retrospect on the Ekweremadus in a London court. It is not just a shame to Nigeria but to the entire African subregion. While a reputable Deputy Senate President ofNigeria was being sentenced in a London court for a crime he vehemently denied (against David Nwamini Ukpo), the president of Nigeria, Muhammadu Buhari, and a one-time Secretary General of the Commonwealth, Mr. Emeka Anyaoku, were busy attending both the Commonwealth Conference and a coronation jamboree without making any reference to it. And here you, a Yoruba man, expressing distress about the whole issue. The letters of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo and others came almost too late but the Federal Government was neither late nor early, but the FG chose to look the other way while the Ekweremadus travailed. This is quite most unfortunate. Immanuel T. Ededey, Ikeja Lagos: 0811 111 7202

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