In further consideration of the issue of marital friendship or companionship as previously discussed in this column, I present below a detailed explanation of the characteristics.
- Talking together
This is more than mere general talk but intimate discussion as friends. Friends always engage in enjoyable and exciting conversation. I have intimate friends with whom I share great thoughts, laughing when interesting topics are discussed and showing great concern about ourselves when the occasion demands such mood. With such friends, there are no dull moments. Such is what is expected in a marital relationship.
- Spending quality time together
This is about creating time out of no time for interaction with each other. That is, hours can be spent together both day and night discussing with each other. Despite the challenges of economic survival, taking husbands and wives out of the home daily, couples who are friends still find time to be alone together to enjoy good moments.
- Visiting together
Marital friendship makes it mandatory for couples to go out together for ceremonies on invitation, or just visiting their loved ones. This is the rule rather than the exception for such couples.
- Planning together
Couples who have cultivated the art of friendship will always plan their life together. I have seen couples who will just buy household equipments without discussing with each other. If the husbands can afford even landed property, he goes ahead to buy without any consideration for the choice of the wives and vice versa. This is not the case in a marriage that enjoys marital friendship.
- Eating together
I was at a meeting recently where I canvassed for couples eating together. You can imagine the uproar that followed because many persons there felt that today’s working conditions of husband and wife do not allow for it. But the truth of the matter is that if couples see the necessity of eating together, they will make allowance for it. Though it may not be every time, but it will be a common feature in the marriage. I have seen couples who still serve and eat in separate plates. This does not make for great marital relationship.
- Living together
This is the beauty of any great marriage. It is because this is fast becoming foreign in our society that marital unfaithfulness is on the increase. In the days of our parents, couples followed each other as work location changed .But it is no longer the case with us. We value economic survival above great marriage. Even employers promote marital separation these days by transferring married staff without consideration for the survival of their marriage.
If we are serious about enjoying great marriage, then we must do the needful concerning the above requirements for marital friendship. Otherwise, we should kiss great marriage goodbye forever.
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