Having to deal with fragile health and still having to deal with insensitive reactions from people can be a lot to handle.
You could be battling pains and meet mean people that don’t understand how to be kind to people with fragile health. They make mean comments and do silly things. If they show care, it is in an unacceptable manner.
People have not learnt how to show kindness irrespective of whether they know what you are going through or not. Oftentimes, people try to impose their opinions of you on you especially when they come to know that you have fragile health.
1. They try to force solutions down your throat
People can be kind and willing to show up for you because they know about your fragile health, but the approach is usually a turn-off. They do not ask if it’s fine by you, they just expect that you should jump up and get super excited because they’re suggesting to you, the “solution to your life’s problem.” These people don’t want to know if you’re comfortable with their suggestions or not. They also don’t care to know how far you’ve gone to seek a solution. They just invade your space with solutions as if it is their right to.
Other times, they’d go as far as accusing you of not wanting to get well because they are totally sure that their solution is the best, and you are rejecting it.
2. Reactions about your weight or body size
People could look at you in a not-so-appealing manner, and make mean comments about your body size just to make you feel uncomfortable. There are some health conditions that could make you add weight excessively and other health conditions could make you lose weight so much that your clothes would have to be manipulated a little before you can wear them. You could be lean, have lean cheeks and eye bags. They compliment your outfit the wrong way and ask you in a mocking tone, “Why on earth does your dress look that way on you? Don’t you eat?” “You are so lean now. I remember how you looked when we first met”.
No way, this is insensitive. You don’t deserve to hear these remarks from anyone. If anyone must talk at all, they should think thoroughly, and be sure that what they want to say is acceptable, and wouldn’t hurt you.
Some people are just really insensitive and do not know when to talk and just observe instead. They say things like, “Why do you look sick?” No, they shouldn’t! You know that you are sick, and they shouldn’t rub it in. But guess what? They do regardless.
3. Isolation
People see those who have fragile health as people to be separated from. These ones are usually weak physically and emotionally, and it’s not their fault that they are that way. There are ways to relate with them without having to cut them off completely. They are not any less than human beings. They just have to deal with life in a slightly different way. How? They probably have to eat a strict diet, be mindful of what they wear, avoid strenuous activities, and many more rules they have to follow.
4. Giving unsolicited advice
This is very common. Everyone all of a sudden becomes an experienced doctor who somehow knows what it is that would keep you healthy. Some of the things they suggest that you consider are not in any way medically reviewed. They tell you to take unnamed herbal mixtures. They would advise you to take some medically unauthorised substances and expect you to take their suggestions hook, line and sinker. Why? Just because they said so.
As a person who knows someone with fragile health, do not give advice until they ask. If at all you must say it, ask them first if they’d be comfortable with it.
5. Insult you because of your choice
They call you foolish because you said no to their ‘almighty’ solution. They start to yell at you and say that you don’t want to get well. You’re just lying about wanting to get well. And say other things alike.
Whereas, the reason you said no is because you want to run it by your doctor first before agreeing to it; your fragile health needs all the close monitoring it can get. They then start to make remarks that are hurtful. These remarks depict how egoistic and unbothered they are about your health. They want to assume the position of the Superhero that made you get well. All the while, they’ve been thinking about themselves and not you.
6. Pity
It’s not out of place to show care, but people with fragile health don’t need pity. They don’t need to hear the story of someone who was in similar condition and died. Be honest and sensible in your approach. Some people say these things out of care for the person. However, be sensible in your approach and focus on them not necessarily on what you want to say. You don’t say things to make you feel better, you are there to show that you care for them and support them. The more reason you should be wise in your approach to them. Resist the urge to show pity.
7. Suggesting activities that are strenuous
Suggesting activities like, dancing all night, hitting the gym, swimming and other things that they’d be unable to do. This would get them thinking again because you’re not doing a great job at helping them feel better and optimistic. You are not helping matters, all you’re doing is enticing them with things they cannot do because of their health.
There are more creative and less strenuous ways to have fun. Just figure out which one works.
Above all, keep your shoulders high, be optimistic that things will get better as you deal with a fragile health and look out for your wellbeing. People would always be insensitive true. However, don’t allow their words and actions to trip you off.
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