Learning to love one another in Nigeria

AS an adult Nigerian, closer to “three scores and ten” than “three scores” by age, and having had the privilege of living and working in virtually every part of Nigeria, both as a teenager and as an adult, one can say without any iota of doubt whatsoever, that it has been a great joy and delight to have been and to have done so. One says so because one has been able to see, relate and enjoy the proverbial saying that goodness is as perennial as the grass; as well as everywhere to be found! In like manner, it is equally true that evil, error and/or even frank wickedness is the same, in their being found everywhere. Unfortunately, evil, no matter how little it is, has this terrible capacity to immediately overshadow or even overwhelm the good! Nigeria, is obviously the most perfect example of this apparent paradox that one can find anywhere in the world, one that most typically exemplifies this reality. When these evils are in relation with the various naturally different people in any given community or states, it usually gets very dirty and deadly – especially when the basis of these differences are spiritual, religious or such similar value basis!

This unwholesome reality of the would-have-been very delightful Nigerian nation for all, had always been there – as indeed is the case globally – in the Middle East, in Ireland, in the UK, in Canada, in Spain, India, the Congo, Rwanda of late, South Africa, etc. However, the difference between the Nigeria situation in this regard, with these other places in the world, is that while those places, and especially their leaders, are forever doing their best to reduce these evils and the many dichotomies that they bring about, the very ethnic Nigerian leaders would seem to think of no other business that they have, except to maximize these evils and their hegemonies. They usually do so obviously for the usual reason of their selfishness, whether they actually know it or not. For this reason, while these evils are decreasing in the world in general (except for the current radical, wrong, abusive and global Islamic “jihad”), the Nigerian one is only increasing. Thus, the growth of hate speeches and their background agitations for self-respect and reduction of the undermining of others that are usually the basis of the agitations for peaceful, or sometimes even un-peaceful, separations.

The central African country of Rwanda went this way lately, and had a most silly disaster of it; for which they have created the Rwanda Genocide Memorial facility to educate one and all on it in an effort to see that such never happens again. Nigeria, on the contrary, had a similar Genocide-Pogrom between July 1966 and May 1967 but never seems capable of coming to terms with the reality! Indeed, objectively, a seemingly mild attempt for its repeat occurred earlier in this 2017. Unfortunately, the result of these issues is the growth in hatred between the peoples concerned. Sadly, even though these people may somehow know that these are not the healthy ways of life, their socio-political and now emotional handicaps no longer allow them to do the right things! Even the ones of these people who may have been truly spiritual in the past, usually also fall into this dirty trap. Thus, even when they objectively know that we are meant for love, and that true (non-adulterous, non-fornicating, non-flirtatious, or not merely material) love is the only healthy way for man to live – if s/he is ever to do so, happily and fulfillingly – they howsoever never get to actualizing it in their daily political life.

Thus, in the present Nigeria as it is, we would seem to be in dire need to educate all of our selves to mind what we think, do or say to ourselves and to one another. As apparently unwanted as it may seem, we would be in need of having to educate ourselves in the way of true love for one another – especially of the generic loves of Agape (Charity) and of Platony (Philia). We will need to remind these Nigerians, especially their so-called leaders – most of them self-acclaimed “holy men and women of God” as well – that only on the basis of such loves (of Agape, Platony and the divine Filia [Storge], as well as other-service that should automatically flow especially from any genuine Agape) that they will be judged on the last day!

It is often perceived by people that those who truly love more are the weaker of the people involved in any human relationships. Funnily, this happens because even though common sense easily shows that such is not true at all, many people do not use common sense very commonly. Hence they are fooled into thinking that the one who hates, those who use strong words rather than the simple and soft ones and those who threaten and would seem to go to war at the drop of the hat, are the stronger ones. However, and quite the contrary, people who do such things are merely people who are trying to hide their weaknesses and their challenges. These are the very people who need to be loved the more – precisely because they are the ones who are the more handicapped, the ones who do not know properly what wrong they are doing! Even when we differ from people – which is inevitable, since God does not create junk, or repetition when he creates human beings – they can and should do so nicely, firmly, peacefully and even cheerfully. Such ways will help them, and those who think otherwise, to see the great strengths and benefits that come from such differences; and so, to harness them!

Even if these differences lead to the inevitable partial or complete parting of ways, they will be able to do so happily and mutually enhancingly. As a person, I have seen courtships that ended as such, without any succeeding marriages; and the people concerned remained chaste friends as God would rather have them do; even if they eventually ended up marrying other (viz, the correct) persons later. I have seen this happen in people who had sought lives of consecrated celibacy in religious life – male and female – who eventually discerned otherwise; and lived happily, usefully and most cooperatively with their erstwhile God, whom they had thought to be seeking in absolute unity as provided for humanly only in avowed celibate religious life! So, this is not a mystery at all. The only difference is that these other ones are between very limited people but not masses of them; and in which anything may just crop in and go wrong! However, the lessons of all of these, none the less, is that this higher level of living – of loving all indiividual persons and all people groups chastely, warmly, deeply and correctly, all of the time – is not only proper, but also possible.

As Nigerians continue to live in this era of their heightened discussion of their national differences, it only seems good and proper for some of us who understand these things to advise them in these directions. Such stiches in time, they say, should save some nines! Our mutual love, individual, inter-tribal, inter-cultural and all else, may only grow, not diminish in any ways; for by it shall we all be judged both by God and by men of goodwill. Those who do less of it will only find themselves to blame in the here as well as in the hereafter! God bless Nigeria!