What are you doing to stand out from others that admire the person that you admire? Are you entering their DMs to say the same thing everyone is saying? There are people who you admire from a distance that you’d genuinely love to get close to. However, following the status quo will not help you.
You probably have people you admire from a distance, especially on social media. These are people you follow closely and engage their content whenever they create them with the hope of meeting them someday or having direct access to them on social media and outside social media.
However, to establish a relationship with people you admire from a distance, they need to notice you. You have noticed them first, it’s your turn to get noticed. But how possible is it for them to notice you with the number of people who are trying to get close to them; in other words, people who have the same goal as yours?
You need to stand out by not doing what others are doing. Don’t go into their comments by using vain and flattering words that everyone else uses. Remember, you can stand out. There are principles to bear in mind when you’re working to build a relationship with people you admire from a distance.
What you should do
1. Be thoughtful
Engage their contents thoughtfully. Read their books, attend their conferences. Know their story. Understand their niche and engage them with the knowledge you’ve gathered overtime. When the opportunity comes, join their classes, buy their books, pay for their services, share their posts online. That will give you legit access to them than others.
Also, put down thoughtful and sensible comments, and not the exaggerated ones. No “step on our necks” kind of comments.
2. Extend a hand of value
This is one legit way to come close to people you admire from a far. Also reach out to them with value. You could say, “Oh, I see you need a content writer. In your last IG live you said that your PA is off work for some months, I can help with this and that.” Offer value. No one sidelines value. Give value first, that would grant you access. And if you don’t get access to them, you can keep reaching out. But be polite and civil about it. Remember, you’re not entitled to a positive response from them. They get to choose.
3. Don’t make requests
Everyone around them, or maybe not, wants something from them because of the position they occupy. So, every day they hear all kinds of requests ranging from, “I need money to I’d like you to be my mentor.” They hear these things every day. What will you do differently? Don’t ask for mentorship or friendship. Also, don’t dump all your problems on them, hoping that they would automatically give in to your requests. Don’t share your problems unless you’re asked to or given an opportunity to.
4. Make them feel safe
To establish a relationship with someone you admire from a distance, and already have access to, it is not the time to post their pictures and tell social media that you know them and you have access. This is the time to make them feel safe, and not used. Build intimacy with them first, earn their trust while doing the things that are important to the relationship, before “publicity” ever comes into the picture.
5. Transparency
Be as transparent as possible. However, don’t overshare. Ask questions and have conversations that appeal to the common interest that has brought you together.
- You could reach out to them for their opinion about a project you’re working on. It could be a YouTube channel, a skill you’re making money from, an E-book or a published episode on your podcast. It would give them the impression that you are quite valuable and that you are not a pest.
- In all you do, seek to engage them. Intimacy is built in conversations. Also, ask intelligent questions.
It takes time and patience. If you don’t have any of these to give, then don’t attempt coming close. You might have to sacrifice your comfort sometimes to do any of the above. But it will be worth it in the end.
What you should not do?
- Note that they offer value and have made a name for themselves in their various fields or career aspects. That is why you’re following them. They seem to offer value effortlessly and you want that kind of life for yourself. Don’t be a pest and a burden to them.
- Secondly, do not approach people that you admire from a distance at a conference, at the mall or enter their DMs harassing them or telling them that you want to take pictures or asking them to mentor you or better still be their friend.
- Don’t tell them you want to be their friend with a sense of entitlement, or you want to be mentored by them. There’s a 99 % chance that they would ignore you all because there are people with the same offer in their DMs and yours is not any different. All these will not give you room in their thoughts or lives, neither will it give you the access you’re looking for.
As stated earlier, they get the exact energy from every other person. They have to deal with these things every day. So, your request does not make you any different from them. Therefore, stand out.