One trending issue today is still domestic violence. We started considering it last week, and I promised that I will conclude this today by looking at how to make our environment, violence free, or keep it to the insignificant level.
Let me start by saying that in breaking habits, one of the things to do, according to a research is to associate pains with the habit. For instance, if the habit is excessive coffee consumption, you need to consider the pains this will cause you at the end of the day. This will help you to weigh in on the consequences of continuing with the habit, as in the pains you will suffer due to the excessive coffee consumption. This pains, if played back on your mind, would help you to break the habit.
With respect to domestic physical abuse, more stringent measures, as in penalty of physical assault on one’s wife, should be put in place. This will check mate an aggressively violent husband. If, for instance, he knows that such an act will inflict pains on him, he will not jump at it at the slightest opportunity, which is presently the order of the day here in Nigeria.
It’s easy to engage in due to lack of self control. But, it’s been discovered that, when pain is involved, lack of self control can be handled. For instance, a male does not slap his female boss, though tongue- lashed by her. Or neither will a male touch or even speak roughly to, a female military person, no matter the provocation. He cannot afford the luxury of the pains that will follow from the reaction of the female military person. “Pronto”, he quietly and quickly calms down. The yam tuber cannot survive the pressure of fire on it.
In the United States of America, and United Kingdom, husbands behave better than in Nigeria, because unprofitable dare consequences await any husband who violently charged at his wife, either verbally or physically. I understand the price is far above the rubbies: ejection from home, restricted access to children, heavy financial burden, easy access to separation and divorce with stringent conditions, and jail term are brain setting mechanism for husbands, in such climes.
Imagine if half of these heavy penalties are applicable here in Nigeria, then, domestic physical violence would simply disappear, or becomes very rare, as opposed to present “two for a naira” thing.
The issue of family intervention in settling criminal matter of domestic physical act, must be weeded out of our police and judicial system. Never again should the family institution be indulged with intervention in such matters. If families cannot intervene before it physical abuse sets in, then, the laws must be allowed to take its course, in the most stringent manner, for that matter.
The reality of the situation is better appreciated when it becomes dawn on one, that many of the physical abusive acts happen, because husbands see it as an easy way to correct their wives, or force them into submission in the marriage.
Holistically, the best way to deal with domestic physical abuse is to keep our environment violence free. It’s obvious that Nigerian people are prone to violence. Siblings, friends, neighbours, office colleagues, commuters, etc, engage freely in physical fights. This is why it’s so easy to engage in physical and emotional abuse in marriage. We are used to engaging in it, and getting away with it. So, no shaking engaging in it at the marriage level as well.
The government, families, employment institutions, and societies should come down strictly on violent acts. Even the few laws about violence, such as assault and battery, disturbance of public peace, bodily injury sanctions and compensation, are not properly prosecuted, and in many instances, they are unreported or settled out of court.
The issues of drugs and alcohol must also be dealt with, if violence will be kept away, or reduced to the barest minimum, in our environment. Drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are easily available for consumption, in the society. The fight against drugs and other narcotics is like a recurring decimal, like the fight against corruption. It’s far from being “near over” not to talk of being over. The case of being “technically” won does not apply here.
Recent proliferation of arms and ammunitions is also a bad omen for a peaceful environment. This has emboldened people for violence, and by extension, criminal activities. No wonder banditry, kidnapping, outright assassination have continued to be on the increase, rather than abating.
A violence restrained environment will rid our marriages of domestic physical, and even emotional, abuse. We should not continue to spare the rod and spoil the child in handling the issue of violence in our clime. If we come down heavily on it, both through criminal and civil legal framework, sanity will be restored and life and bodily injuries will be spared.
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