It’s never easy to leave a toxic relationship. You know the saying, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”? Well, in the case of a toxic relationship, it is not true. One does not need to be in a romantic relationship to experience the toxicity of another person.
Toxic relationships in the workplace, for example, can interfere with a person’s ability to be productive at work and can affect interpersonal relationships outside of the office.
According to Psychology Today, a toxic relationship is defined as “one in which one person is acting destructively toward the other person (or people), who feels helpless and unable to respond effectively”.
Someone who’s in a toxic relationship often feels out of control and may feel guilt, shame, or a lack of self-esteem.
An abusive relationship is never a healthy relationship. At some point, all partners in an abusive relationship are diagnosed with a form of post-traumatic stress disorder.
An abusive relationship can be a result of an abusive partner.
If this is happening to you, there is a way out.
Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t an easy thing, and you need to remember that it will be difficult. However, if you’re in a toxic relationship, it is important to get out as soon as possible. Here are six tips to help you leave a toxic relationship:
1. Quickly recognise the signs
If you’re in a toxic relationship, there are likely to be some red flags. These can include feeling manipulated, controlled, or even unsafe. If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s time to get out.
2. Talk to someone you trust
If you’re not sure whether or not you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be helpful to talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, or even a therapist. They can help you to assess the situation and make a decision about what to do.
3. Make an escape plan
If you’ve decided that you need to leave a toxic relationship, it’s important to make a plan to escape. This can help to make the process as smooth as possible. Decide what you need to do to leave, such as finding another place to stay or getting a new job.
4. Set boundaries
If you’re still in contact with the abusive person, it’s important to set boundaries. This means making it clear what you will and will not tolerate. For example, you may want to set a rule that you only communicate via text or email.
5. Detach emotionally
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be hard to detach emotionally. You may feel like you’re in too deep, or like you can’t live without the other person.
But it’s important to remember that you deserve to be in a healthy, happy relationship.
Some of the ways you can detach emotionally are by:
- Take note of the toxic behaviour. If you can’t identify what makes the relationship toxic, you won’t be able to change it.
- Cut off contact as much as possible. This may mean ending the relationship completely, or just reducing the amount of time you spend together.
- Focus on taking care of yourself. When you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. Make sure to take time for yourself and do things that make you happy.
It’s important to detach yourself from the emotional aspects of the relationship. This can be difficult, but it’s necessary to move on. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and the future you’re working towards.
6. Seek help
If you’re finding it difficult to leave a toxic relationship, it may be helpful to seek professional help. This can be from a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance. There are also hotlines available, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which can provide resources and assistance.
If you’re reading this, you might be wondering if your relationship is toxic. Are you in a relationship where the person you love is a narcissist or psychopath? Do they control you in some way? Do they make you feel bad about yourself? Do they use your emotions against you? Do they manipulate you or play games? Do they make you feel unsafe in any way?
If so, it is advised that you leave the relationship immediately.
It is not easy to leave a toxic relationship. Many people never do. However, most of the time, this is not because they cannot, but because they are not ready to do so. The good news is that once you are ready, the above six steps can help you leave a toxic relationship and find a better one.
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