HAVE you ever corrected your friend from saying a particular word or disliked her taste in music and after a week you are using that same word or now enjoying that same music? That is influence. Were you watching your favourite movie when the majority of your friends dismissed it? You silently disagreed but didn’t voice your opinion so as not to appear “uncool”. Well, that is the silence that births influence. The false stereotype paints the picture of your friend telling you to take just one puff of cigarette or your friends laughing at you because you have refused to take alcohol. It is untrue that peer influence is basically negative things. Peer influence can be both negative and positive.
Peer influence means adopting a particular attitude, behaviour in order to be accepted among your equals. Influence can be positive. You can be motivated to study harder and get good grades because your friend thinks it is important. Volunteer in extracurricular activities because your friends are doing so. The power to develop yourself can be in the hands of your friends. There is a misconception that the influenced are docile or cowardly and submissive. But this is not the case: people that have an influence on you make you feel comfortable, you have common interest and similar ties that you do not even know that you are being influenced. For this reason, we need to explore the word friendship. Why do we have friends? In our teen years, friendship is more complex. During childhood, we just have one or two friends which we regard as best friends. As teenagers we have multiple friends and different cliques and in the rise of making new friends we lose some but one thing is certain, they leave an impact no matter how little.
In the right crowd, friends develop your self-esteem and self-worth. Friendship creates self-growth. It’s an avenue to express yourself as you are surrounded with those that understand you and you are able to share things that you cannot tell your family. Let’s categorise the four types of friend that is healthy for you, first we have the Comic Relief. The good thing about a friend with a great sense of humour is that he or she usually has warmth and compassion to spare. You can go to this person when you are down and he or she will lighten up your situation. Next is the Life Coach. You might not always speak to him or her but when you do, he or she reinvigorates you. His or her pep talks make you feel more hopeful about yourself and future. What’s more, this friend is strong and tough, with a vigour for life you can feed off of. Through his or her example,
you become more eager to achieve your goals or keep tackling everyday challenges. Talking with her recharges your emotional battery. Third, we have the Risk Taker. We all need an adventurous friend who pushes us out of the regular, someone who introduces us to new ideas, philosophies and activities that we might have otherwise not been exposed to or feared to explore on our own.
You should be careful and make sure this risk will be positive in the long run. Fnally, we have the Loyalist. Every person needs a friend they can be a complete wreck in front of. This persona can drop in unannounced when you’re looking your worst. If you haven’t showered and the house is a total disaster, he or she won’t judge you. There is an old saying: show me your friend and I will tell you who you are. This interprets that people you probably hang out with determine your lifestyle. If you find yourself among smokers, one way or the other, you can get pushed directly or indirectly towards it. From childhood, you had a set of values which have been instilled in you but when you are surrounded by the wrong crowds, you doubt yourself. You hear things like: “It’s no big deal, can’t you see how cool you will look. Stop acting immature and try and act grown up. You’ve got freedom to do as you please, just try it once and if you don’t like it you can stop.” Just remember this influence can alienate you from your values and loved ones and even yourself.
What do you do when faced with pressure? The first is rejection with determination. If you are told to take drugs, say “I am not interested or I will not join you.” You can also use family pressure as a reason for rejection. For example, if you are told to steal, say “no, my parents will be disappointed if they come to know of this.” Another is diverting the attention or finding an excuse. If you are invited to a smoke joint, say: “Why not let’s eat out instead of going there?” The next one is a good one to get out of awkward situations: self-mocking. If you are being teased to wear skimpy dresses, say “I don’t want to look like a cheap version of Lady Gaga.” You could also point out the adverse effects. Where you are being pressured to take alcohol, say: “You know, drinking can lead to liver problems and I am not ready to die.” Finally give an excuse and leave the scene: “I will see you later. I have an important errand to run.”
Here’s a quick advice for every young adult and teenager: remember your values and have them as a constant reminder. Always look at the repercussions of things and how you will feel after. Remind yourself, “I am better than this.” Surround yourself with people who share the same values with you. Finally, it’s not too much to ask your parent or a trusted relative for advice. In conclusion, no person can be an island. We want to be loved, appreciated, deemed worthy and able to fit in. While striving to do these, let’s maintain our values.
- Aileru is a student of Babcock University, Ogun State
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