Nothing kills marriage faster than…

Life is meant to be exciting. Boredom is something man is willing to pay whatever price to do away with. One of the reasons we get married in the first instance is for companionship and one major thing we seek companionship for is to make life exciting, to make life fun, to make life interesting. But excitement is still lacking when in the marriage, people easily fall prey of getting it where they shouldn’t even without being conscious of it or face boredom for the rest of their life. Many men and even some women, got into adultery not because they planned for it but in their quest for excitement.  They went into marriage full of expectations but only to become disappointed a few years into it because their expectation did not march with the reality. Life became more of a routine than fun, and no one enjoys life as a routine, not even those who are confined to boredom by marriage or any other thing.

Couples must make their marriage fun. Your home must be an exciting place to be for you and your spouse, and even for your children. Your spouse must see you as fun to be with. Life should not be too serious. There are couples who don’t sit down together cracking jokes with one another. They frown around the house. They live life as if life is a disaster. Even when things are not the way you desire them to be, you don’t have to allow them to rob you of your happiness. Together with your spouse, you must learn to enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Don’t live your life as if you are the one carrying the problem of the whole world on your head. What informs who you are is not your circumstances but you decision. That anyone is happy and full of life around you is not because life has been favourable to him, it is only because he has chosen to be happy and full of life. He has learnt to put his challenges and problems aside and enjoy life. Everyone has enough reason to keep them sad and touchy, even those we think life has been fair to.

For your marriage to be fun, sex must become fun for you and your spouse. Many couples approach sex as a thing they must do because they are married to each other. Sex must become what you and your spouse want to have because you enjoy having it with each other. It must not be a routine. That is why I don’t advocate couples having “set-aside days” of the week to have sex. Sex should flow out of our relating with each other. That is why Dr. Kevin Leman advocates that great Sex Begins in the Kitchen. As she is doing the cooking and you are passing the salt, she puts a piece of meat in your mouth, you use your teeth to cut it into two, you spit one half into her mouth while you chew the second half, one thing keeps leading to another and right there on the kitchen table, you are having fun. That is what it is meant to be “fun.” Thank God the children have gone on holiday.

Sex with your spouse should be fun time. It is not just about you climbing your wife and “doing it,” neither is it just about you lying down there like a log of wood, waiting for him to finish whatever he is doing. You should make it as interesting as possible. You should be inventive about it. Try several methods. Create excitement. Change location. It doesn’t have to be on your bed and in your bedroom all the time. Every ground is a holy land as long as it is only the two of you that are there. From experience I can say that sex out of the usual place is very exciting and interesting.