Is my future secure with him?

Dear Yemisi,

I am in a big shit as I write you this. I am a 28-year-old lady working in a reputable organisation. I graduated some five years ago. All through my university days, I had a man in my life and I have never for once cheated on him.

He is an engineer and he has promised me heaven and earth. He also promised never to betray me. But this vow of his has been threatened more than four times.

I am a child of God and I have tried all within my ability not to pay him back in his own coin. He was always dating other ladies that I got to know later. I initially did not believe in the tales that some concerned neighbours of his told me until I caught him in the act.

My intention was to sign the dotted lines with him this July, but as things are, I am scared of his behaviour. Though I have introduced him to my parents and he has kept on promising to take me to his people.

Due to the prevailing economic situation in the land, we had agreed to have all the marriage rites done in July so as to avoid double spending since we are likely to have the same crowd for the events.

I have decided to send you this mail because I am really disturbed and I would not want to start a journey that will destroy my joy and happiness.

All this while, whenever I was told of his escapades, I sometimes discarded them and carried on as if nothing happened. In December 2017, I took him up on a particular date he normally took to a guesthouse in his area and he denied ever having anything to do with the said lady. I took it in my stride and believed all he said.

• What should I do?

That same December, he repeated the act which was too obvious for him to deny. He begged and apologised that he would never again do anything that would make me doubt his sincerity. He sent many of his friends to me to plead with me to forgive and forget his shortcomings. Again, I forgave him.

Dear Yemisi, this man is always swearing that he would never do anything to hurt my feelings as he still claims that he loves me with everything he has.

On January 24, 2018, I got the shock of my life when I received a text message from a lady who this lover of mine has been dating that I should hands off him as he is her husband-to-be. Not done with the quit notice, she sent me the result of the pregnancy test she had confirming that she is, indeed, three months pregnant. I am still having sleepless nights whenever I read the text message.

I am still in love with this casanova, did forward the lady’s text to my fiancée. He immediately ran to my place to ask for forgiveness as he has nothing serious with the said lady and that I am his God-sent partner. I am feeling cheated, used and dumped as I am writing you.

How can a man claim that he is in love with me and would want me as his wife yet impregnate another lady who I am sure wants to have a baby at all costs. Do you think my future is secure with him?

Is there any room for reconciliation of his tales that he is in love with me? I cannot just place him! Though I am yet to brief my parents of the latest development, if you ask me, I have had enough of him.

What do you think I can do? Do I believe his story and go ahead to marry him? I have sought audience with my pastor who is not around now for his advice, but in the interim before his arrival, I need honest counsel.

Please, I am banking on your counsel and those of your contacts to guide my decision.