There’s a quote by Oprah Winfrey that says, “ A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself”. What is a mentor-to-mentee relationship about?
One of the many needs of a person that has been emphasized over time is the need for a mentor. People are often given advice to have someone who is more experienced than them guide them through life; usually in specific areas.
A mentor-to-mentee relationship is the interpersonal relationship between an experienced person and a protégé or someone who is less experienced. Here, it’s the experienced person who guides the inexperienced one.
You should also note that having a mentor is not limited by age. It doesn’t matter if the mentor is younger than the mentee. The focus should be on the aim of the relationship; to guide and be guided.
It is rewarding to have a mentor. However, why do you want to have a mentor? In cases where you would approach someone to be mentored by them, you must approach them with the intention of offering value. You should know that more than one people are after the same thing you’re after. So what stands you out? What should they pick you instead of the rest?
And for a mentor, why do you need a mentee? To impact value. Teach people what you know and build continuity. Jim Rohn once said that personal development is not only for your self, but to impact lives with what you know. So, as you’re getting experience, you’re teaching others what you know. This will make the world a better place.
Who is a mentor?
A mentor sees your blind spots that are unknown to you, and helps transform them into your strength. However, one basic thing that forms the bedrock of a thriving relationship is communication; effective communication. There are failed mentor-to-mentee relationships due to poor communication. How do you communicate effectively? How do you make it work? That there are failed relationships everywhere does not mean yours should fail.
Tips for having a successful mentor-to-mentee relationship
There are things to bear in mind to make yours with your mentor or mentee work.
- Be clear on what the relationship is set to achieve
Before the mentor-to-mentee relationship begins at all, there should be a reason well known to both parties. The reason will direct their journey and define their relationship with each other. They should identify the duration of the relationship. What it wants to achieve and other things they can pinpoint.
The relationship could be for the improvement in emotional, spiritual, financial, relationship, or career aspects of life. Not having a goal would mean leaving things to chance and that in itself is not thoughtful. It would be like a car on a highway headed no where; no destination or duration of the journey in mind.
- Be clear on both sides that you truly want the relationship
Don’t assume someone is your mentor because they are nice to you and the same goes for the other party. Do not assume that someone is your mentee because the person appears to be submissive and respects you. Be sure that you want that relationship and are ready to build one.
- Communicate your concerns
In a Mentor-to-Mentee relationship, it is beneficial to both parties to communicate their concerns per time to avoid misconceptions and the wrong show of concerns. A mentor should be able to tell his mentee what his or her concerns are and the same applies to the mentee.
It is important to also ask questions to avoid assumptions and miscommunication. Don’t assume that you know something, ask every question you can until you’re clear on what needs to be done
- Develop and show a right attitude to the relationship
The mentor should be willing to impact knowledge and be understanding and respectful while at it and the mentee should be teachable and willing to offer respect. There should be no wrong attitude to learning or teaching. Both parties should ensure that they are giving value while receiving value. No one wants to relate with a pest. Every reasonable person wants to be around someone that gives them value for their time.
- Confidentiality
The mentor should learn to keep the experiences of his or mentee confidential because it would be inappropriate for him or her to tell random people about things that the mentee trusts them enough to tell them. The same also applies for the mentee.
- Avoid an undefined relationship
There’s the tendency for something tending towards romance to start between both parties. However, it is important to constantly define the relationship and remind yourself why the relationship started in the first place. Of course, there are people who had romance in their mentor-to-mentee relationship and it ended well. But this is not usually the same for everyone. Romance shouldn’t affect the goal and vice versa.
- Discipline
When there’s no discipline, overfamiliarity is bound to take place. This is when the mentor and mentee start to see sides to them that should have been kept “secret”. There’s something called “see finish” in Nigeria which means to lose respect when it should be given.
There are successful mentor-to-mentee relationships all over the place, yours should not be an exception. What will you do differently today?
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