How not to lose your identity while in a relationship

Our identity as humans is an integral part of our lives that must not be lost. A person who has lost their sense of identity can be said to have lost all because, in the long run, they begin to just exist in the world rather than live.  

In relationships, it is quite possible for either of the parties to lose their personal identity if care is not taken.   

According to PsychCentral.com, individuals in relationships can lose their identity as a result of a lack of boundaries, low self-esteem or self-worth, shaky sense of self, and codependency.   

There are also signs that show that an individual in a relationship has lost their personal identity and they include: not prioritising your wellbeing because you are in a relationship, sacrificing your happiness, not being able to speak up when you should, and so on.  

It is important to know that we should not lose our individuality and identity in the name of being in a relationship. Even if a relationship is about a partnership, your indivuality should not be sacrificed because you are in love or because you want to show to your partner that you are committed.   

Here are things you should do to help you keep your identity while you are in a relationship:  

1. Be yourself always   

To avoid losing your identity in a relationship, you need to learn to be yourself always.  Don’t pretend to be who you are not, don’t sacrifice your uniqueness on the altar of your relationship. You should not change your person just in a bid to satisfy your partner.   

Even if certain little changes cannot be avoided in our lives when we get into relationships because it is a journey of partnership, compromise and sacrifices. Regardless of all these, choose to keep your identity.  

Don’t get lost in the web of relationship. The reason some individuals find it hard to move on after a breakup is because they have lot their identity while in the relationship. They no longer know who they truly are.   

You are you and you deserve to celebrate and maintain your identity and uniqueness as a person, so, don’t lose your identity in a relationship!  

2. Pursuing your goals   

Losing your goals, vision and passion while in a relationship is a clear sign of a loss of personal identity.  

Any relationship that is bent on making you lose your passion is not a healthy relationship and it is important you put an end to such a relationship as soon as possible.   

A healthy relationship is meant to fuel your passion and not otherwise.   

If you don’t want to lose your identity in a relationship, pursue your passion and goals.   

3. Set boundaries early   

Sometimes, people can get lost in a relationship when they feel they have to constantly please the other person.  

 Your partner may think that it’s acceptable to change your identity into something that favours them, but this is wrong.  

To avoid losing your identity in a relationship, you need to set boundaries early. Communicate your deal breakers to your partner. Make them know from the start things or ideas you’re not comfortable with and what you can never tolerate in a relationship.   

 You should never feel ashamed to say no to things you aren’t comfortable doing. Set boundaries early in your relationship as much as you can so your partner is aware.  

You’re unique! No one is permitted to take your identity from you!  

4. Make time for your hobbies and interests   

Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean the premature death of your hobbies and interests.   

Letting go of your hobbies and interests is another way of losing one’s identity in a relationship.   

Getting into a relationship does not mean that you have to give up what you love doing.   

Any relationship that makes you let go of your hobbies and interests will, in the long run, push you into isolation, and this is not good for you.   

If you are with the right person, they’ll support and love you and the things you love doing.  

5. Keep close contact with your family and friends  

There have been cases where people get into a new relationship and their partner forbids them from seeing their friends and family.   

Agreeing to this in a relationship is tantamount to losing your identity.   

You should not let your relationship get in the way of seeing and keeping in touch with your friends and family. This is because these sets of individuals (your family and friends) are an important part of your life. Remember that they have been by you all your life, so, why should you let go of them because of a relationship?  

To avoid losing your identity in a relationship, create “quality time” to spend with your friends and family.   

6. Make time for yourself   

Another way to avoid losing your identity in a relationship is by making time for yourself.   

We know the person you are in a relationship with is the person you have decided to walk down the aisle with, but this doesn’t mean you have to be together all the time.  

No matter the level of commitment of both parties in a relationship, you both still deserve quality time apart.    

 Making time for yourself is essential to not losing your identity in a relationship.  You should create time for yourself in order to reflect and just be yourself.  

You can decide to take yourself out and just spend quality time alone.   

7. Learn to say “NO”  

You don’t have to always agree to whatever your partner wants in a relationship. You also have the right to say “NO” either as a guy or lady.  

You should not always be the only one sacrificing in a relationship, it is meant to be a partnership.   

Always seeking to do what your partner wants at the expense of your own wishes is a way of losing your identity in a relationship.   

Take out time also to ask for what you want.   

If you’re not pleased with a situation in your relationship, speak up and make your opinion known calmly.   

You need to preserve your identity even while you are in a relationship because you are meant to enjoy your relationship and not endure.   

Remember, while caring for others, don’t forget yourself!  

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