How much a marriage worths determines its success

I got inspired to write this piece from a post on value that was sent to me by a contact on my WhatsApp. Reading that post got me thinking about marital crisis which have become pervalent these days, rearing its urgly head as  temporary separation, silent attitude treatment, physical assualt, divorce, and in the worst scenario, spousal murder. It baffles one how two people who professed undying and unconditional love for each other could be driven to these marital extremes that have bedeviled a lot of marriages today. This post was an eye opener, and I have come to see a light in dealing with marital extremes in marriages.

The reality of that post is that the value we place on a thing determines how much care we exercise in handling it. I believe the same goes for relationships we are in. If a person is important to you, the normal tendency is to go all out to ensure that nothing tampers with your relationship with that person. You are careful with what you say or do to him/her. You don’t want anything to hurt him or her.

In fact, you will leave no one, including the person, in doubt as to how much you value that relationship. I remember duing the preparations for the 2015 elections in Nigeria, a person was canvassing for votes for a presidential aspirant who my husband was not well disposed about. Ordinarily, my husband would have taken the person up, but he told me that the relationship we have with the person’s family constrained him.

How much your marriage is worth to you will determine how you handle it. I am talking about marriage as a social institution here. How you view its place in the scheme of things in life determines how much sacrifice you are ready to make to sustain yours. It is obvious that many people don’t realise the importance of marriage to their over all well-being in life, going by their utterances and disposition towards their spouses. It’s like they care less if it breaks: take the feelings of spouse for granted by indiscreetly keeping relationships that the spouse is aversed to; talk to spouse anyhow;acts towards spouse as if he or she is inconsequential.

Now to the personalities involved in marriage: how valuable your spouse to you will drive your determination to ensure that the marriage succeeds. Of course, the value is also determined by certain factors: contributions being made in terms of financial, intelligence, professional support and the likes. That is why marriages where only one party is the alpha and Omega is more prone to abuse and divorce.

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If you don’t have anything meaningful to contribute to your marriage, other than to donate or carry children: no silver, no gold, no useful advice to make things happen, you are not worth much, and in case of need, you become easily replaceable.

The growing rate of marital crisis may not be unconnected, to a large extent, to the kind of value spouses place on marriages these days. It is an indication that the value level of marriages are low. So, marriages crumble easily like a pack of cards.

Many are no longer seeing the importance of marriage to their over all well-being in life. The fact that increasing number of people now don’t think of what to contribute to, but what to get from, marriage, make them to be of little or no value to their spouses. Hence, they are easily thrown out through the window in the marriage.

There is therefore the need for more value to be brought into the marriage as an institution that is of great importance to lives and the larger society.

The marriage institution is the building blocks of the sane society. All of us flow from the marriage Institution , and the success of the marriage institution determies how sane our society is. In the same vein, marriages should be consummated on the basis of mutual contributions if spouses will value themselves so much as not to want out of the marriage.

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