Grieving

Add as a preferred source

Mortality, the reality of humanity, hit me twice on Monday, April 3. I received news of the death of two friends, within hours of each other. Even the one who has eaten the proverbial tortoise head, would be sober, learning years-long friends, once-vigorous, became sick unto death and answered the final call 72 hours apart.

Iyabode Dayo Omirin was my teen-hood friend who became a family friend. A straight-shooter, she became a sister as we journeyed into adulthood. She was always forthright in all manner of speaking. I can’t recollect her ever being ratted out for being untruthful, though her truth, might hurt. Raised by parents, particularly the mom, who redefined philanthropy, one would be tempted to say her only choice was to be kind. But nothing is given in life. Children of good people, have turned out hopelessly, bad. In doubt, check with Fathers Eli, Job and Samuel. Even Joseph. His younger son, Ephraim went roguish with God, despite his father, practically saving the world and embracing his malevolent brothers.

Iyabo was kind, because she chose to. You could say it runs in the family. Her older brother and my adopted egbon, BrodaSoji, is one of the most agreeable people I have ever met in life. As I write this, I still don’t have words to say to him, on Iyabo’s passing. So, so, sad.

AlhajiAhuraka Isa’s death on Monday April 3, was as shocking as Iyabo’s. Pastor MrsIzebere, my Secondary School classmate and the deceased’s best friend, broke Iyabo’s passing to me through whatsapp message Monday morning. I hadn’t spoken to Iyabo in a while, but for a while last week, my mind drifted to her and her younger sister, Taiwo. I remembered a piece of advice she gave me years back regarding my professional career and I chuckled. I’m gonna miss her frankness. Nothing suggested to me Iyabo was either ailing or dying. She had this habit of showing up for the ministers’ conference that usually heralds RCCG Convention or Congress, before returning to Abuja, for the rest of the programme. Then, on her way out of Redemption Camp, she would call me and we would catch up, interspersing the serious, with hearty laughter. Pastor Mrs told me Iyabo had been sick for a while and had to be brought to Ilesa where she eventually passed, on March 31. So much for life and the struggles. When I broke the news to my mum that her burial programme was for 3pm the same Monday, my mother screamed a bucket. Iyabo was like her daughter. When Iyabo’s mum, the legendary Mama Elelubo passed, it was my mum’s home that served as Iyabo’s base for culinary arrangement to cater to her visitors. The reality of her passing, will take a while to settle.

While processing Iyabo’s passing, one of our ogas at the National Judicial Council (NJC), shocked me with Ahuraka’s death, that Monday morning.

Of course, his name surely rings a bell. He was the media handler to three Chief Justices of Nigeria; namely Aloma Mariam Mukhtar, the first female in history, her predecessor, Mahmud Mohammed and the immediate CJN, Tanko Muhammad. He was a rich sectoral repertoire. Genial and humble, he was always ready to learn even from younger and obviously junior colleagues unlike some fellows who think themselves an island on similar assignments. Well, the result is there. They are sinking their bosses.

Whenever I published Ahuraka, he would be endless in his appreciation, assuring that if I ever get to speak for anyone or organization and he is still in active journalism, I should consider him, my number one man and frontline defence. Well, that would never be again and might never even be, if Alhaji had lived, because this spokesperson thing, doesn’t look like my thing. But, if God says it is part of His plan for my life, then sadly AlhajiAhuraka would not be there, to have my back, as payback, for the good he thought I had done him.

Unlike Iyabo’s ailing that completely blindsided me, I was aware Ahuraka wasn’t enjoying the best of health, but hopeful, though he had lost considerable weight, by the time we last met in Abuja.

He had his way with words, though he wasn’t a neologist per se. But research is his forte. Then, he had this unending goodwill with people, particularly his colleagues. Whenever he mourned not being empowered to appreciate his colleagues, I would playfully assure his goodwill was unending with me. But I meant every word of it.

When his last assignment ended, I encouraged him to take a corner of Tribune’s law page; The Jury, as a contributor/columnist, considering his deep insights in Nigerian justice system and reach, with critical stakeholders. He promised to, after his expected release from hospital then and thankfully, he survived that bout, but couldn’t immediately take me up on my offer. Then, the silence from his end. Then the news break, he was dead. A friend of ours, after learning of his passing, disclosed to me the help that was offered the deceased to live. But it seemed it was his sunset and what we are left with are the “Ifs” and “Whys”.

For most of this peculiar Monday, I was searching for answers, because being told of two deaths within hours, cant be a coincidence, considering that one happened 72 hours before. God definitely was giving me messages, which I would need time, to hear properly, process and act on. The first, is being more thankful for life.

But what came to me as I write this, is the intangibility of time, like currency. I had been pressing AlhajiAhuraka to write a book on his time, managing three CJNs. That is something in the lifetime of one man. He promised to start once his health improved. Hopefully, he had something together in form of a transcript that his lawyer-son can publish in his memory. In developed world, where punditry is valued, he would have been snapped up, by a rated cable news network immediately he exited his last assignment controversially, alongside his boss, Tanko. But the shrinking Nigerian media space would not easily allow that here and you can’t put all the blame on the owners. The other day, a friend who was out of job had approached a mutual friend who heads a supposed thriving medium for reportorial engagement that isn’t supposed to cost the “big” news medium, more than 30 shekels. But the MD told our friend pointblank the company hasn’t got the money to pay him and they don’t want freelancers. So, employment is frozen.

Maybe it is time that Nigerian media outfits borrowed the sense in Soludo’s 2004 banking consolidation and start merger talks, to create a broader platform that can adequately cater to the needs of the system; men and resources. The aviation sector had received the sense. Many senior lawyers in Nigeria are now for it, seeing that it is the fad abroad, where a regular law firm, would parade at least 100 lawyers. Here in Nigeria, the best and biggest, have less than 30. Maybe it is consolidation time for legal practice and media in Nigeria!

Being a Muslim, it is likely Ahuraka was buried the same Monday Iyabo was interred. Life can be very………..(no word). But thankfully both were committed Christian and Muslim. May their souls find rest, amen.

READ ALSO FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE