SEX is an integral part of marriage. However, many shy away from the discourse on their way to the aisle. To some people, it is a no-go area even while planning their future together. This could be as a result of religious underpinning. This has caused a lot of problems in many homes and led to dissolution of marriages because one or both partners are not sexually fulfilled. Even those who engage in the conversation sometimes are not honest with one another, leaving their spouses hanging off balance because of their different sexual orientations and drive. The question then is, would you marry a partner whose libido is lower/ higher than yours?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert have to say on the issue:
How would you know your partner’s libido when you have not tested the waters? But will testing waters of different width and depth answer the question? The answer is no. This is because most times libido drops or increases which may be due to psychological, medical, mental or even physical reasons. Normal libido might seem abnormal or excessive sometimes based on societal expectations on sex-related issues especially amongst married ones. But in my own understanding, don’t marry a partner your libido cannot match because that is the beginning of infidelity. And infidelity has a lot of effects on marriage, lifestyle and health. It scars one for life. Note, don’t marry a cheetah or tiger/tigress in bed when you know you are a lamb/sheep because libido and prowess diminishes with age.
How would I have known his sexual or libidinal status without marriage? Marriage is a black-market, whatever you get is your luck. The duo should learn to blend and work on each other’s weakness and focus on each other’s strength.
I will marry a woman who loves me and whose dream resonates with mine. If she has a high libido, we will take herbal supplements to meet up and if it is the other way round, I will give her herbal supplements to meet up. What I paid for was bride price and it is not for “a night.” We will learn to live with each other. After all, I did not marry her only because of sex.
If a man and a woman married as virgins, there won’t be issues at all with either high or low libido. How do you even know that you are either high or low, If they haven’t engaged in the act?
I think it will be good for a man to have higher libido than his wife. This is because, the guy will be able to control his girl and earn her respect. But if it’s the lady that has a higher libido, it would be problematic because ladies cannot cope as much as guys would.
A good Christian ought to avoid sex before marriage but they have to talk about sex while dating. Read books that will enlighten you and visit a good counsellor. I don’t think the high/ low libido doesn’t apply to virgins.
The truth is that we are all different, so it is understanding that matters. We can always learn to please each other as regards our mission in the relationship.
The partner with high libido should sit and discuss with the other and pledge to be ready to assist each time until the low libido partner ‘graduates’. This will be between partners. This is a recommended permanent ‘pill’ for survival and peace in that home. With time, both will meet at the equilibrium.
I can’t marry someone with a low libido not because mine is too high but we need to find a balance so we will both be satisfied with our sexual life.
I won’t marry someone with a low libido because as a woman and a mum wearing so many hats and doing so many different things, there are already so much demanding my attention and occupying my mind which invariably affects whether I want sex or not and if care is not taken ,this drops libido drastically and turns sex into a chore. So, it’s important that the man has a higher libido so he can ginger me and help me come out of the phase of not wanting sex.
How do we know that the partner has low or high libido when he or she has never had sex before? I think this is the first thing to consider, because if we cannot know, then, we would most likely be married before realising it. We’d just learn to build our libidos to match the other person or an easy suggestion would be to encourage sex before marriage. However, I think the partners would want to see how they can sexually match each other as sexual satisfaction is integral in marriage so much that the Bible even encourages that partners should not deny themselves except for a while.
Continuation of Would you marry a partner with high/ low Libido (2) Next week
Please I need the advice of your readers. I met a lady online who happens to be my friend’s girlfriend. On knowing this, we tried to stop the affairs but the bond kept waxing stronger. Truly, she is my kind of woman joined with the fact that I want a stable relationship. Even though, I knew my friend is a cheat. She broke up with me last week Saturday, only to chat me up in the evening that she can’t cope without me even while dating my friend. Recently, I noticed she has gone cold. I asked her reason for the change but all she said was nothing. I am confused as I don’t know what to do, having in mind my friend, herself and myself locked in this drama.
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