TODAY, I hear a lot about s3x-starved marriages, where by couples have less s3xual activity than the desired. Such could be like once in two months, three months, or in some cases, six months. When such is the situation in a marriage, it can be said that the marriage is lacking in s3xual intercourse, than what is required. s3xual activity in a healthy marriage should be a weekly affair, depending on the health condition of the couple. Anything short of this is an indication that the marriage is s3x starved.
Reasons for a s3x starved marriage:
*Busy schedule of one or both partners: reaching career or business goals could be really tasking and take its toll on the overall relationship, including s3x.
*Poor s3x communication between the couple: couples being shy, especially women, about asking for s3x in marriage, when they really want it, can become an issue. Couples generally have poor “I need s3x” vocabulary.
*Poor handling of misunderstandings: issues are not given adequate and priority attention to resolve them.
*Poor handling of financial pressure: financial pressure is allowed to keep tearing them apart, such that they don’t see eye balls to eye balls, not to talk of having s3x. When husbands lose financial power, s3x becomes a begging issue in the marriage. If the wife does not apply wisdom, the husband loses boldness to ask for s3x, especially if he had been “blocked” with serial excuses in previous attempts.
The solutions to the s3x starved marriage situation
I have checked and ruminated over the issue of s3x starved marriages, and my conclusion about the solutions to the problem lies in couples going back to the beginning of their love relationship. How they were handling issues during their courtship or dating days will help them in solving the s3x problem. For instance, in the beginning, couples usually don’t allow misunderstandings to stop them from having s3x, once they start engaging in it. Rather, they settle misunderstandings with s3x.
But in marriage, couples sleep on the same bed, and don’t touch one another, not to talk of having s3x. The common style is the biblical phrase “to your tent o Israel”. This may go on for days or weeks or months before allowing reasoning to prevail.
Not only that, misunderstandings are usually handled with priority attention during courtship or dating days. Both partners are ever ready to make prompt sacrifices to resolve these differences. But in marriage, couples don’t usually give topmost priority attention to misunderstandings. It is like once married, we take ourselves for granted, unnecessarily. I think the issue is that after all, he or she has no choice: we are married already, so no more pampering. Couples don’t think they can break up once married, otherwise they will be more proactive and eager to resolve misunderstandings. Therefore, misunderstandings are not quickly resolved, and may, and do eventually snowball into conflicts, which result in complications: malice, extra marital affairs, battering, and in the worst scenario, separation leading to divorce in the end.
My take on the issue is that if couples adopt the courtship/dating days styles, s3xual starvation will be reduced to the barest minimum. If we were that keen to have ourselves, we should be more than keen to keep ourselves in the marriage. Why dissipate so much energy to have ourselves, and then trivialize keeping ourselves. If we can go back to the beginning of the love relationship that led to the marriage, all the issues responsible for s3x starved marriages will be easily resolved, thus ensuring s3xual satisfaction in the marriage.
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