There is still a challenge in marriage, which is very serious. That is the fact that most wives still have problem with initiating sex with their husbands. Thus, they live in pretense when it comes to sex in the marriage. I don’t know where these wives get the idea from, that because men have higher libido than women, it is mandatory for men to initiate sex. Thus, the wives have come down with the tradition to have their husbands initiate sex all of the time, with a few unavoidable exceptions. Like one wife said, it is the tradition of women to make men pursue them and initiate sex with them. To such wives, it is a taboo to ask their husbands for sex. And for any wife to do so, requires being looked down upon as degrading womanhood, or to relate it to marriage, wifehood.
Not only that, such wives also prefer to suffer in silence than to initiate sex with their husbands. Thus, suffering and smiling is the order of the day for them, on the days they feel horny. On such days, they can also pick up quarrels with their husbands, instead of asking for sex in direct and indirect ways. How do we deal with this dilemma of wives with their husbands.
The other pretense has to do with the false response of “I am not interested” to their husbands’ sexual advances. Though, in their hearts of hearts, they are dying to make a roll on of John Thomas of their husbands. But, they will rather play hard to get than give their husbands easy access to their bodies. This is rather absurd, taking into consideration the fact that it is their husbands we are talking about here. I am of the opinion that having played hard to get before accepting to be in the relationship, these class of wives ought to have become tired of such a game. Or when will they have time for other types of games in relationship, when they seem to have conditioned themselves to this one game.
Reasons for sex pretenses by wives
* To conform to the feminine tradition of not initiating sex. Wives get hooked on the traditional belief that a woman who initiates sex is a disgrace to womanhood. It is this tradition that affects the wives who will rarely ask their husbands for sex. But, this belief should have no place in marriage. You are now husband and wife, and as such you own each other in totality.
* To prevent their husbands from thinking that they are promiscuous. This is another funny belief that must be discarded. Why should your husband feel you are promiscuous because you ask him for, or initiate sex, with him. For God’s sake, he is your husband, and you should be free with him in every thing, including sex, which is one of the reasons for getting married in the first instance. Even if he feels so and you don’t engage in it, it will become a futile thought for him at the end of the day.
* To make their husbands value them as precious. Wives feel that not initiating sex with their husbands enhances their worth with their husbands. That is, it makes them to be more valued by their husbands. The truth is that this is a mere myth that amounts to nothing.
* To enjoy the feeling of being pampered and conquered by their husbands. The fact that husbands initiate sex make wives enjoy the feeling of being pampered and conquered. It is like the time the husbands were chasing them before getting their consent for the relationship at the beginning. This feeling makes them feel good, and as such, the more of such, the merrier for them
*To enjoy the feeling of being attractive to their husbands. Since men are moved by sight, wives feel that if their husbands run after them for sex, it is a sign of still being attractive to them. Hence, they will rather prefer being chased for sex by their husbands, than initiating sex with their husbands.
Implications of the sex pretense scenario
* Makes the husbands to be more vulnerable to sex advances outside. What you are “begging” for at home is being offered on a platter of gold outside. It thus becomes a case of “ a prophet is without honour only at home “
* Leads to lack of sexual satisfaction for both husband and wife. When you are horny, and your husband is not asking for sex, you suffer in silence. Thus, denying both of you the joy of sexual satisfaction.
Conclusively, wives should also feel free to initiate sex with their husbands. The truth is that husbands feel on top of the world when their wives initiate sex with them. It gives the impression that they are doing a great job in their sexual act with their wives.
Furthermore, the serious visual sex assault men face these days from the social sophistication dresses of ladies outside the home: inside public transport, bus stops, offices,and other public places demands that wives go extra mile to satisfy their husbands in bed. Since men are moved by sight, such assaults put a lot of pressure on the husbands, which must be relieved, and such is better relieved at the home front, since away matches have no guarantee of victory for the marriage.
Wives, it is not a crime or a sin to initiate sex with your husband. Don’t allow the traditional, religious and cultural background of your environment tie you down to a myth that holds no water in the marriage setting.
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