The thought for this piece came to me through the usage of my handset functions. There is a particular function I love to use on the phone, but I could not for a long time, because I didn’t know how to access it. It was not until few weeks ago that I had a breakthrough with the usage, as I was discussing with a friend, who put me through it. It was a pleasant surprise to me that I could derive access to it, so easily, after many fruitless attempts, and suffering so much due to lack of access.
It became dawn on me that, in marriage, our experiences are similar to what I experienced with my phone. We desire a blissful marriage so much. We are making so many efforts in this wise, yet, it’s like a mirage. It’s like pouring grains on the back of a bowl.
The truth of the matter in such situations is that we have not achieved our desired marriage, or our desire in the marriage, because we have not learnt to speak to our spouses, their language that will bring to pass, our desire in marriage. Once a spouse discovers the language of the bliss of his or her spouse, blissful marriage becomes the order of the day.
It’s an adage in Yoruba land that we can have our passage through a route along the abode of a mad man, by simply calling him, “the bridegroom”. This is a language that guarantees one easy passage through the mad man’s abode. It makes him feel important and honoured, and produces the feeling of joy within him. Thus, he is ready to allow you have your way.
Likewise, in marriage, learn to speak to your spouse in the language he or she understands, that will guarantee blissful relationship for you. There is something that will work with your spouse in this wise that will be irresistible for him or her, not to yield to you. It’s peculiar to him or her, and that is why it’s a common saying that, no two marriages are the same. You just have to discover what works for your spouse and then key into it for you to enjoy your marriage.
On a general note, husbands are won over by the respect language, while wives will fall for the love language, anytime, anyday. Therefore, each husband must learn to speak to his wife, the love language, if he wants to enjoy her in the marriage. Without this love language, relationship with a wife, is going to be like a camel passing through the eye of the needle. This will also be the experience of a wife who has not discovered how to speak the respect language to her husband. Stated in another way, it means that spouses must learn to “give monkey banana” to have it play with or for you, or to trap it.
Apart from this general language, each spouse also has peculiar things that give access to their best of acts in the marriage. Discovering such a thing, and deploying it, is what will guarantee you, your desired dream in the marriage.
Someone can say “I have been trying to reach my spouse through his or her language, yet he or she has been unyielding. The truth is that you have not discovered what works for him or her. Or you are finding it difficult to understand why that should be his or her language. For instance, a wife confessed that she didn’t believe in kneeling down to greet her husband, was a reasonable demand from him. So, she adamantly refused to go in that direction with him. So, she could not have access to the best of her husband, in all things. But, the day she decided to change by swimming in that his river of kneeling down, she has been enjoying more than she desires in the marriage.
Your blissful marriage may just be a stone throw away from you. Acting now will guarantee you that which you so much desire, if not even a lot more.
Thinking that what your spouse wants is an unreasonable demand is the figment of your imagination. To him or her, it’s a perfect demand that is a fire that cannot be quenched, or a driving force that cannot be stopped.
Is it not ridiculous for a king to be going to his most senior chief, each morning to greet him? That’s what the history of Oyo Town in Yoruba land, revealed to us about the Alaafin Abiodun(the King), and his high ranking chief, Basorun Gaa. The King acted ridiculously, and had his peace and victory over the land. Can married couples learn something from this king’s ridiculous behaviour that guaranteed him victory and peace in his domain? I think we can, and we should.
How much ridiculous pills should one swallow from his or her spouse? As much as it guarantees one that dream marriage, without being life threatening and destiny destroying. If it will only make one to sacrifice one’s ego, self pride, a habit, etc one should give in to such ridiculous demands.
I have been trying for so long without success. Keep trying you will break through one day, and not too far away. That was how I got my breakthrough with my phone functions. You will succeed if you don’t give up.
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