Nigerians trivialise rape

NOT too long ago, it could have been said that Nigeria was at the verge of experiencing its own version of #ChurchMetoo, with so many women coming out to reveal how they were sexually assaulted by famous pastors and prophets across the country. Unfortunately this movement didn’t see the light of the day as many of the victims  were dismissed as liars, attention seekers or women who willingly had affairs only to come out to blackmail anointed men of God. However, in what could perhaps be termed the most talked about issue of the week, Busola Dakolo, a celebrity photographer and the wife of singer Timi Dakolo, alleged in an interview that she was raped several times by the renowned pastor of Common Wealth of Zion Assembly–COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo, as a 17-year-old minor living with her parents and sisters, who were all members of the Divine Delight Club, the precursor to Biodun Fatoyinbo’s COZA in the year 2000. It will be recalled that other allegations of sexual assault were made against the same pastor, with the latest just being that of Busola Dakolo.

As expected, the airing of the interview generated discussions. This calls our attention once again to the issue of rape in the society and the need to put safeguards in place to be able to prevent it and perhaps empower girls and women more, so that they would be able to resist and maybe have the courage to come out against their abusers for the society to take action against them. This is what has been happening in most other climes when rape cases are reported and mentioned and this without calling into question the urge to raise issues with the believability or otherwise of the stories. At least, we have to expect the basic element of empathy as rape is one of the most horrifying and invasive of crimes. But not so in Nigeria. As soon as the Dakolo interview aired, what followed were ‘uneducated’ and ‘uninformed’ comments and reactions from so many Nigerians. In short, while some were ignorantly asking her,  “why are you speaking out after so many years?”, others thought it was an opportunity for them to display how intellectually bankrupt they could be with their misguided opinion of the situation by asserting that, assuming that he actually committed the crime, the accused was young and not a pastor then and, as such, shouldn’t be held accountable for allegedly assaulting a minor sexually, .

But  the unanswered questions remain: are there certain times in life when people are allowed to be criminals and their crimes won’t matter? Does it mean that a rape reported years after it occurred no longer counts as rape? Are we living in a society where rape is becoming a culture and is acceptable? Some even said “people make mistakes and it’s normal, so the acclaimed pastor shouldn’t be judged for a past mistake.” A mistake as heinous as an alleged pulling down of a vulnerable girl’s nighties in the early hours of the morning in her father’s house, having carnal knowledge of her, and forcefully guzzling a drink down her throat as an emergency contraceptive is, in my opinion, better labelled a horrendous crime that neither time nor status should stand in the way of seeking justice against.

• The need for cleaner speech

To be sure, rape culture is alive and kicking in our society. It is a culture that normalises sexualised violence and condones physical and emotional terrorism against women. This should concern all of us as women continue to be mentally and physically brutalised especially on the African continent. And to think that victim-shaming and belittling is also done by some women and girls who are supposed to be uniting to halt and dismantle patriarchy, the ultimate cause of all violence against women, is depressing. In fact, this speaks to the all too familiar issue of women internalising their own oppression and thus, coming to accept it as normalcy. In any case, we need not look farther to understand why many rape survivors would rather stay voiceless and suffer in  silence than speak their truth. We are told that someone somewhere is sexually assaulted every two minutes in both high and low cases and now more than ever, we should be encouraging victims and not trivialising their assault. Just recently, for instance, Fatou Jallow,  an ex beauty queen alleged that she was raped by the Gambian ex-president, Yahaya Jahmeh. Let us for a second imagine how many more women would have been damaged by people in such positions of authority with their unrestrained urge, or the vast number of women who must have felt helpless, especially for not wanting to say no to a man of God, and the many more who would choose to suffer in silence for the fear of being shamed, denigrated and further traumatised for being raped by members of the society.

Clearly, there is a need for more active conversations and campaigns about rape as it would seem that a lot of Nigerians still don’t understand  that when we trivialise rape, we endanger all women. We need to, as a matter of urgency, establish the fact that there is no shame in being a victim of sexual violence, such that we can encourage all to understand and speak up about this despicable crime. We essentially reinforce rape in the society when we are publicly defending celebrities accused of rape because they are public figures and calling the victims career-destroyers, thus creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety. In the final analysis, rape is rape — a crime that should neither be excused nor justified and as a society, we need to develop more empathy and understanding about that, if we are ever to see more of those impacted by sexual violence and abuse get the support they deserve. Truly, being a woman is constantly scary. Gender inequality that is still in existence all over the world.

• Yakubu is of the Department of Mass Communication, Kogi State University, Anyigba, Nigeria.