I got married four years ago and the daily happenings are baffling me. I seem not to understand the woman I married anymore because she put up different characters every day.
She is a woman would never say sorry, whether she offends you or not.
She is just too full of herself. I’ve tried to contain her, but I’m getting fed up by the day. I don’t know what to do.
Worried Man, Internet.
Dear Worried Man,
There should be no reason for you to begin not to understand your wife of four years. I am sure before you signed the dotted lines, you would have seen the traces that she is full of herself if you are sincere with your assessment of your wife.
What were you doing when you were newly-wedded that you have abandoned due to familiarity, which is said to breed contempt?
Your wife could not have become swollen-headed now without having noticed or observed some traits in you that informed her being unpredictable.
What efforts have you made to seek redress by asking her why she has turned to another person entirely? There is no smoke without fire, hence you will have to swallow your pride and do the needful to save the marriage.
Getting fed up with her will not necessarily solve the riddle, but by seeking audience with each other to see where the two of you got it wrong along the line. You don’t need any prophet to tell you that it is either she listens to rumour-mongers or that she has caught you off-guard while trying to cheat on her.
It is very unlikely for a once jolly fellow to become so saucy overnight. Instead of organising or exposing yourself to public intervention, it will be in your interest to attempt heart-to-heart discussion with her.
She will no doubt open up to you. But if she remains not forthcoming on why she has become unruly, you can consult with a respectable elderly member of her family.
Your marriage has not gone past the phase of integration as you learn to know more of each other on daily basis. With you making peace moves, she will, in the not-too-distant time, turn a new leaf.
You need to watch picking her up on her weaknesses every time you have issues with each other. The moment you cease criticising her ideally will make her to see her true picture and adjust without any fuss from your end.
Learn to tolerate each other’s excesses and ignore her slips.
and then