Love: The underrated verb!

That’s right!

It was love at first sight, so to speak, for the two. The kind that leaves the butterflies doing flip flops, and leaves hands sweating and hearts beating hard like a fired engine.

Yes.

Destiny was up cooking something. Something big. Nice and beautiful.

In matter of hours, Rob and Meg set sail aboard on boat cupid, bound for lands of forever by a fatesigned, sealed and delivered.

You see, young handsome Rob came in with a heart of love, the promise of a better future, a burningpassion to give his lady that future and a disturbing nonchalance.

ALSO READ: 2018: A tough year

Young beautiful Meg on the other hand came in with a heart of love, some priced possessions(inheritance)to her name and a boisterous temper locked away somewhere.

Well packed as they came aboard, they each, still managed to forget to bring along a few importantluggages.

Rob forgot his crown, a part of his brain and his ability to take action.

Yes.

He forgot his responsibility as the head to provide, every way possible for his family. He forgot that whileseeking and pursuing a better tomorrow, he must ensure they lived & survived the present to get there. Heforgot the fact that love is a verb which must be backed by action to mean anything. Really he forgot toinvest in filling her love tank the way she did to his. He forgot to prove himself a capable, supportive anddependable lover.

On Meg’s Part, she forgot to take her brains, trust, and the endurance pill along.

Yes.

She forgot to pay attention to the tell tale signs from the beginning. Forgot to trust him till the end like she’d loved him. She forgot to slow down or stop but instead followed on, emptying herself of all, dayafter day, till she had nothing left than a shattered mind and uncontained rage.

I do not wish to bore you with the details but, the little things each did and didn’t do in that relationship contributed to its ruin.

This is a side to the story told in Acrimony– a rather controversial and emotion provoking movie by Tyler Perry’s movie productions, released several months ago.

Many reviews, summaries and submissions has and are still being made. I put out a few words on thesubject myself.

But, while the critics, fans and everyone are busy making onesided, speculating/deductions from varyingopinions, views and angles to the story, very few there be that truly open their minds to the substance andlessons inherent...

It isn’t supposed to be about who is right or wrong, No. Instead the focus should be about gleaning asmuch lessons…with the determination to take steps to avoid the same pitfalls.

One major lesson that necessitates my sharing this with you is that, when love is not backed up withaction, it remains void and empty

Like you read, Rob became so full of words that he let actions slide.

He forgot that as much as his woman needed to hear his words(promises), she also needed to see actions to believe it.

Isn’t there a saying that goes “Seeing is believing“

And just as said in the holy book: “hope differed makes the heart faint”

My people also say (paraphrased) “You know a good tomorrow from the preparations you see today“

You see, he had a dream, pursued the dream with everything they had which happens to be his wife’s inheritance.

Everything got used up, still His dream didn’t see the light of day.

Now, with a family to cater for, one would think Rob would at least find a way to make life easier for the family– his wife(who already worked two jobs to help the family), as they await the big breakthrough, but no! He didn’t.

Actions begets reactions.

She couldn’t trust him. Couldn’t hold on anymore. Things got worse with her. Frustrations took hold of her. Eventually rage got the better of her.

His nonchalance cost them greatly. Her rage ended it all for her.

The little things he had left undone grew to become their greatest undoing.

The little things she should have addressed became her greatest and only fault.

Truth is, though love in recent times has been greatly underrated and termed to mean different things as suiting to different people, the power, beauty and reality of it remains for all times.

Well, to some it is a means to an end, for some more it’s s3x, getting physical with all the mushy feelings that comes with it. And to a few others the word is just a mirage. To them, it simply does not exist.

Whatever anyone’s stand, its truth can not be downplayed or confined.

While few there be that understand the true meaning of the word, others have no clue as to what it really entails.

And just like Rob, we all do not know or probably have forgotten that love means commitment…backedup with words and actions.

Yes!

It comes with great responsibilities whereby the little things we do and don’t do count greatly.

Sadly, we want all the benefits but barely want to pay the price.

Trust me, love isn’t love till it’s given away.

…Given away in its totality... with a wake up call to our responsibilities; doing small steady acts of love and kindness, everyday.

Don’t say it’s too small or insignificant

No!

A little gift of tie, socks, bodyspray, handkerchief, undies could go a long way…

Freeing up your time to be with him/her will always mean alot

Showing appreciation, complimenting him/her is far too rewarding than you will know…

Doing the dishes sometimes, emptying the trash, caring for the children, going out of your way to help will do more than you would ever know.

However little, everyday, make it a point of duty to invest in his/her love bank.

Fill it in small little droplets, day in day out.

Just do something to put smiles on his/her face.

Do it.

Starting today.

To your blissful marriage,

Blessings.

Mrs Adeyemi is a relationship coach and can be reached via [email protected]