Do we inherit success or acquire it?

Case A: Afolabi is the third of five children and the parents are successful entrepreneurs with a chain of businesses. Once the children graduated from the university, they were all integrated into the family business to varying degrees of success. Afolabi clearly had a good head for the business, he interacted well with the staff and gradually took over the reins of the leadership – despite not being the oldest. Luckily, the other siblings didn’t begrudge him as it was obvious that he was best suited for taking things to the next level. When the parents retired, he was appointed CEO. Did he inherit his leadership and business traits or learn them?

Case B: Chizoba had to struggle to pay his way through school as he was orphaned early and his uncle who took over their responsibility did not see the value of continuing education when he could do well by joining him in business. He was determined to graduate from the university and study economics. Despite his challenges, he graduated with a first-class degree and won a scholarship for a masters abroad. He subsequently joined a top financial institution and rose rapidly through the ranks to become a director. The uncle and the rest of the family are now very proud of him. Where did he get the ingredients and drive for success from?

Case C: Amina attempted to gain admission into the university via JAMB thrice, but didn’t manage to score high enough to meet the cut-off for her chosen course of study. She was initially despondent, but she decided to pursue her hobby of cooking various Nigerian delicacies and provide home service deliveries as well as open a restaurant. She was determined to make a success of it. She worked hard as an apprentice at a large restaurant where she quietly learned the ropes. She further honed her culinary skills by attending a catering masterclass. By the time she launched her business after two years, she was ready, and it flourished.

Discussion

The essential ingredients for success are clearly a mixture of two major categories: nature and nurture.

Nature: Clearly, nature plays a critical role in shaping us for future success via factors such as temperament, intelligence, personality, physical appearance, and so on. Factors such as intelligence are in-built and outside our control, just like our physical appearance. Other traits that may also be innate, include the ability to display patience and delayed gratification in the face of setbacks and delays.

The Marshmallow test appears to support the nature model, as the test was invented to determine at what age different children develop patience and delayed gratification. Long term follow-up studies of those children strongly suggested that children who displayed patience and delayed gratification at an early age were more likely to be successful in various domains of life in adulthood.

Nurture: Better understanding of the workings of the brain, and especially the concept of neuroplasticity pushes the role of nurture in promoting successful living. Neuroplasticity explains that the brain is flexible and like ‘plastic’, implying that it can be trained to learn and unlearn different traits or habits that may promote success in life – as an individual, in family life or in professional careers. This trait is also a fundamental basis of therapy for individuals to overcome habits such as poor anger management, impulsiveness, procrastination and so on.

Ultimately, a combination of nature and nurture ingredients are essential for successful living. Behaviours that promote successful careers and interpersonal relationships can be learned or acquired. Regular practice and persistence over time makes them become established as our habits that propel us towards achieving success. Habits such as hard work, discipline, patience, delayed gratification, emotional intelligence, self-control, good interpersonal and social skills, and so on are traits that can be learned and strengthened consciously.

Other skills that are also helpful include the ability to find inner drive and motivation to push yourself, even when others appear to be lazing around and getting by, despite their poor work ethics. The ability to also sustain attention and concentration, that is, have laser focus on tasks and minimise distractions is a very useful skill for success. And this can also be acquired or learned with training.

Conversely, growing up in an environment where negative traits are highlighted, with a lot of harsh critical comments, denigrating comments and behaviour and so on can fuel self-doubts, low self-esteem, fear of failure and serve as barriers to successful living in later adulthood.

Conclusion: We can all aspire for success and achieve it, regardless of our inherited traits (nature). We can acquire relevant skills via training, discipline and hard work (nurture) that will help us achieve outstanding success in all spheres of life. Emotional wellness is a critical component of nurturing success.

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