Depending on human validation may derail you

In life, it is the desire of every human to be acknowledged. Indeed, the human nature desires validation often as a balm to the soul and feeling good about oneself. However, it is counterproductive when an individual depends so much on human validation to the extent that insecurity sets in. At this point, the search for validation destroys the individuals self confidence and such a person starts living life based on others peoples’ opinions or feelings.  While we all need validation frequently, the truth is that individual opinion about oneself is the priority; we shouldn’t learn to depend on what other people say to feel good.

Basically, only you should be able to make or break your day, determine your mood and the kind of image you have or life you live. When your joy comes from others, then, seeking human validation has robbed you of self worth and turned you into an insecure individual.

Often, women are usually the ones that fall into the trap of depending on human validation more; they want to be seen as good wives, successful mothers with disciplined children and end up using other peoples’ yardstick to train their children. For such women, their children are raised on comparisons of what they think people want to see. Invariably, they turn their children to dummies of other people’s opinion and such children also become insecure and depend on validation from their peers; this is a recipe for tragedy as such children usually find it difficult to overcome peer pressure and collective societal vices.

At work, people who depend on human validation lose confidence in their abilities and are jittery; they are afraid of failure and how people will look at them that they are afraid of taking initiatives or volunteer for activities. So they hide behind strong people and follow a band wagon when it is time to take decisions.

While it is human nature to be self-conscious and get validation, it becomes abnormal when you let the opinions of others dictate the person you should be. This is a trap that truncates destiny and may lead to depression.

Though, it is normal to aspire to be loved by people around or be acceptable to them, living life as a people pleaser by changing who you are to be liked is a tragic situation because you become a fake person and live a lie.

There is a need to live life on your acceptable terms; stop seeking validation from others because we were not created to be the same nor are we expected to love the same things. We are all different people with different tastes, ideals, interests, perspectives and opinions. It is impossible for everyone you meet to love you or even appreciate what you are. There is a need to understand that some people no matter what you do will never be in sync with you.

This is not your fault and should not be a reason to go out of your way to become what you are not. Be comfortable with your person and take things the way it comes. Don’t take negativity personal, look on the bright side always. It is very difficult to build genuine friendships and live a happy, healthy life if you’re always trying to please everybody.

Know your worth, put value on yourself. Stop seeking validation from others to make you happy. Believe in yourself regardless of what others might think. It is when you are happy without needing external validation that you can say you are living a normal and healthy life.

The only validation worth pursuing is self validation based on your belief about what you do, think or say. Never look outside yourself for approval because the power is in you; what you need is in you. It is better to live your life and pursue your dreams and transform ideas into reality without involving others too much or depending on what they say.

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