Crisis in marriage: At what point should divorce be an option

THE  high rate of divorce has raised a lot of questions, one of which is: Is divorce actually allowed or at what point is divorce paper the best option after the exchange of conjugal vows of ‘for better or worse’. To Christians and Muslims, divorce is seen as unacceptable.

However, the liberal-minded believe that when the relationship is not working out, just pull the plug from such marriage, especially when it is capable of leading to loss of life or permanent damage. In Nigeria, there are several grounds to divorce and they are based on unacceptable behaviours from a spouse, as well as bad habits which can have negative consequences. A few examples of such factors include – but are not limited to – infidelity, drunkenness, incurable disease, criminal convictions, intoxication, etc. But the act is still highly not accepted as many even shy away from it – hence, the question: “Crisis in marriage: At what point should divorce be an option?”

 

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on the issue:

 

Jesse Heymann

Violence or infidelity? When the infidelity does irreparable damage to either partner in the relationship, I call it off.

 

Emmanuel Oni

I don’t want to believe there are crisis without solutions. Marriage as we all know is to be enjoyed but not to be endured. Therefore, once the crisis is getting to point of causing you your precious life, ultimately you need to call for a divorce.

 

Opeyemi Benu

At no point. Separation is permitted. And yes it’s easier said than done. I pray we don’t get to that point in our lives.

 

Shewen

No? If you want to try to repair your marriage, there are resources available to help you. Some couples try marriage counseling and research shows that many are able to resolve all or almost all of their major problems with counselling, especially if both spouses are committed to working on the relationship.

 

Bolaji Bakare

At a point where the two parties see no solution to their differences, then they can divorce but separation is the best for the main time.

 

Akinlolu Olayemi

God doesn’t support divorce (in Christianity), separation of both couples should not be the first solution. During the separation period, they should find a lasting solution to their indifferences. But if they fail to reconcile themselves, both parties can go on their way. Trying to be suffering in silence can lead to untimely death or any other unpredictable experience.

 

Akinyemi Paul

According to bible standard, there is no room for divorce till death do them part.

 

Emeagbulor Harriet

When it gets to domestic violence, there must be serious caution. No marriage is devoid of quarrels or issues as we all know. What makes a good marriage is the ability of the couple to manage their crisis but when it gets to domestic violence, the woman should ask for divorce before she loses her life or get maimed.

 

Dominic Dominic

There is. You steal from me or betray me or lie to me after cheating on me and we’re done.

 

Vee

To be honest, it should be your very last option. Exhaust all other alternatives before nullifying your relationship.

 

Doris C. Chukwurah

The moment you feel like you are suffocating, even if the feeling was for a minute, please end it.

 

Dominic Eromosele

People should normally sit and decide deal breakers before they get married. For some, it would be cheating and for others something else. It doesn’t really matter, as long as both agree to those deal breakers.

 

Vanessa Uzoho

I don’t think there’s a ready answer for that. But, at points where individuals feel like they’re just hanging on, or just enduring, then leave. A lot of divorces would be avoided if people just had these conversations before getting married, and actually saw that they were incompatible rather than thinking their spouse would change.

 

To be continued next week…

 

Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Should occupation of the spouse be a basis of acceptance to marriage proposal?

 

Join our WhatsApp Conversation every Sunday by 8pm or send in your comments (50 words) to the phone number, email address above or Twitter handle: @WhatsAppConvs

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