Checkmating infidelity with spousal caution

Infidelity is ruining many marriages today. It’s fast becoming the norm rather than the exception. It’s almost available at the snap of the fingers. One reason for this thriving monster is that many spouses always throw their spouses’ caution into the wind. That is, they don’t heed their partners’ words of caution about the relationship involving the opposite s3x. Instead, they will rather term it a controlling button pushed by their spouses. Thus, before you call Jack Robinson, they plunge neck deep into infidelity. And this makes forgiveness of the infidelity act, when caught, a difficult issue for the offended spouses.

While it’s a fact that infidelity comes at times, intentionally by many spouses, some spouses get caught in the web as a result of ignoring spousal warnings about the opposite. They refuse to see danger signs involved in relating with the opposite s3x. Thus, when they ought to set boundaries or run away from breaking such boundaries, they innocently cross them. What many see as a harmless relationship with the opposite s3x, eventually becomes a hurtful destructive act in their marriage. For some, it’s just a friendly office relationship with an opposite-s3x colleague or a neighbour. Some others just want to enjoy the caring support of such colleagues or neighbours.

Married couples should realise that their spouses should be their accountability partners and must never be ignored in conducting their relationships. Often, our spouses are quick to smell a rat around our relationships and usually warn us. But we may not listen, especially those of us who are extroverts. As far as such spouses are concerned, there is no cause for alarm. The claims about spousal warnings are usually that of jealousness, controlling mechanisms, or emotional insecurity against their husbands or wives. As such, they will stop at nothing to use the weapon of blackmail against their spouses.

Recently, one marriage around me suffered a setback due to the wife ignoring her husband’s warning about an office male colleague. All his efforts at preventing the damage from happening were thwarted by his wife. Even when my husband and I were brought into the picture before the damage was done, she couldn’t comprehend the situation. She saw the man as a helpful, harmless office colleague who gave help at work and a free ride to and from work. What a grave mistake she made.

While it’s true that such relationships thrive due to the emotional gap between husband and wife, especially when a partner is insensitive to her spouse’s complaint of emotional neglect, married couples should always give heed to the caution of their spouses in such situations. The rule should be that spouses should avoid threatening the opposite-s3x relationship at all costs. It’s better to err on the side of caution than be plunged into the monster of infidelity.

Things to note about opposite-s3x relationships by married couples

*Rome was not built in a day. Infidelity takes time to build up. So, watch out as you drift away in the process. No matter how harmless it looks, don’t let it build up. Rather, dismantle it once the build-up progresses.

*The build-up to infidelity is usually a thing of enjoying the company of a colleague or neighbour. So, the enjoyment blinds the sense of reasoning such that crossing the red line happens with ease.

*Compliment about your kindness, beauty, handsomeness, and outright love intention should be convenient points to disengage from an opposite-sex relationship. They are selling points of infidelity. In the incident I mentioned earlier, the male colleague got her through such remarks.

*Avoid situations that make you vulnerable. These include free rides to and from work, gifts, unsolicited or solicited marital advice, regular goodbye pecks or hugs, etc. They are acts to lure you into infidelity. In the real sense of it, nothing is free. There is always a price for everything. Salvation is also not free. Jesus paid for it on your behalf.

*Avoid being alone with such opposite-s3x relationship figures in secluded places. I was shocked when I discovered that the wife in the incident mentioned earlier was welcoming the male colleague in the convenience of her marital home, alone. Such a thing ought not to be so. Spouses must put their feet down against such. How on earth can such a one be alone with you in your matrimonial home and you will be comfortable? Can a man embrace fire and his clothes will not be burnt? No spouse should give such a luxury a place in his or her marriage. No amount of blackmail from your spouse should make such to stand.

*Don’t take your carefree attitude too far with the opposite s3x to avoid a free fall into infidelity.

*Age is not a barrier to infidelity. That he or she is older than you is not an excuse to feel secure around them. Some are old scavengers going about seeking whom they will devour.

So, let husbands and wives listen to one another when the warning cry is made. Stop ignoring it like the biblical morning cry so that you don’t end up being consumed. Only a dog destined to get missing on the way will ignore the whistling sound of the hunters. Not that the hunters don’t blow the whistles, they do, but the dog is deaf to heed the whistling sound. May we never learn from our experience in this wise.

Let us use the occasion of this year’s Valentine’s Day to build our marriage rather than engage in an infidelity blast. Best wishes always for a great marriage for all.

You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. Please, contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only, please.

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