If you are in pursuit of wealth and you encounter honour on the way, give up your pursuit because if you proceed further and find wealth you will still invest it in the pursuit of honour. – A Yoruba proverb.
There is an invasion of deviant abnormality in our world today, especially on social media, that wants to mainstream dishonour and uncouth communication, projecting it as norm that everyone must live with. The only problem is that those who indulge in it do so for the least altruistic of reasons. The agenda is to shock our consciousness and grab our attention so that the proponents of the devious narrative can trend and grow social media followership numbers at the expense of those who lay claim to any modicum of decency. Sometimes when the matter comes up for mention, a lot of people attribute it to a generational defect manifested by the cancel culture generally associated with “Generation Z”, where whatever or whoever does not suit their narrative or perspective is promptly labeled, called unprintable names expressed in caustic language, and promptly ostracized in a “my way or the highway” fashion.
Last week, I wrote about embracing and celebrating the differences in the dynamics of our collective. We do not always see things from other people’s perspective and of course, we should expect that others will differ from us. However, disagreement is not synonymous with being disagreeable.
Honour is a healthy respect for someone or something even if you don’t fully subscribe to their persona, ideology or presentation. Such respect is usually based on what makes them different from you and which you have the potential of learning from them or attracting into your own life. One of the things I emphasize to my proteges is that they must never get distracted by the mundane things they may be privileged to learn about me by virtue of the access I give them into my life because, once you drop the ball of honour, you lose focus of the very reason why you came to be mentored in the first place, that is, certain things or results you have seen in my life but which are not evident in, but would like to see in yours. Besides, your discovery of what you didn’t know about me before our engagement demonstrates my humanity and its attendant imperfection. Secondly, it is a distraction placed on your pathway to test your hunger and desire for the REAL reason why you got into the mentoring relationship in the first place. Wisdom is the recognition of the difference. Honour however, is the celebration of that difference and the currency that makes that mentoring transaction meaningful to everyone involved. The moment you shift your focus to the chink in your mentor’s armour, you can no longer derive significant life-enhancing benefits from his life. In the dynamics of a team, every member of the team is brought on board because of the significant value (a.k.a, their strengths) they bring to the table and never because of their weaknesses or shortcomings, which are compensated for or swallowed by the strengths of others in the team.
Honour is the number one key to access. It is guaranteed to open doors that protocol closes. Honour will succeed where money fails. Every person, and by extension, every society, values honour. It is the underpinning of meaningful and enriching interrelationships in every collective. Whatever you do not honour, you cannot attract or replicate in your life. Check the key result areas of your life and evaluate the things that have given you the best results and desired outcomes. You will see a mirror of the things or people you have held in high esteem. Results grow in the direction of your most treasured things. Someone who despises the rich, can never be rich because he does not want to be despised the same way that he currently despises the rich. The person who does not know how to honour people around him can never be trusted to honour a spouse, talk less of sustaining a happy marriage. If a person despises wise counsel, his life outcomes will reflect the foolishness of his choices. You can never be wiser than the instruction you esteem and follow.
Respect is the manifestation of honour. The irony is that even those who don’t know how to give it to others crave it! You do not have to know people before you treat them with respect. Become respectable and you won’t struggle in your relationships. The value you accord to people that God brings into your life in any capacity will determine how you treat them and ultimately how you will eventually be treated.
Your honour flow must begin with your relationship with your Maker. Honour God, and honoring men will become a piece of cake. No matter how smart you are, you cannot succeed alone. Extend kindness and respect to everyone in your organization irrespective of their status. The married man or woman you openly disgrace and tongue-lash for a minor error in the presence of all his colleagues is someone’s spouse, and also parent to some children!
Every system or organization has its culture and structures. No matter how revolutionary your new idea may be, honour what is on ground and the people who were there before you. When people sense respect and honour instead of irritating arrogance, they will be receptive to your new, albeit disruptive ideas. Honour the different cultures you engage with and stop interacting with people from those cultures like a cultural imperialist with a misguided notion that you come from a superior culture.
Honour your marriage and the children that proceed from it. To honour your spouse is enlightened self-interest. When you honour your spouse, you honour yourself. If your children are rude, intolerant of other people’s opinion, and petulantly defiant, it is the surest sign that they never grew up under you with the code of honour. Children learn more by what they see than by what they are told!
Respect money. How? You respect money by finding a meaningful purpose and plan for it before it comes. Money that does not meet a prescribed meaningful errand in your hand/life will flow out of your life as easily as it came, while you are left wondering how on earth you spent it. Create assignments for your money even before you have it.
There is no society or culture where it is “woke” to be disrespectful to others, irrespective of their age, status or the authority you have over them. Just because you have the liberty or platform of abuse doesn’t mean you should use it.
As the leader of a team or an employer of labour, learn to intentionally build respect and loyalty into your corporate culture and you will worry less about employee retention.
Like loyalty, respect is a universal value. More importantly, it is a two-way street. To earn it, you must give it. It is self-serving to demand respect and loyalty from people when you cannot extend the same courtesies to them. “Honorable” is not a title that is accorded to a political office. It is an adjective that describes conduct.
You only become honorable when you learn to honour others.
Remember, the sky is not your limit, God is!
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