The governor Edo should vote

IF I had a valid vote to cast in the September 21, 2024 Edo governorship election, it would be for the most good-looking of the candidates of the major political parties, participating in the poll, particularly the Big 3, APC, PDP and LP. You wondering how mundane my yardstick is and I ask, how serious, governance, which in stricto sensu, is about lives, has been in Nigeria, save for a couple of states like Borno, let alone party politicking and what we like to see as election, which in reality, isn’t more than selection and coronation of candidates by ‘owners’ of Nigeria and ‘gate keepers’ (alias godfathers) at the state level.

Aside, in appealing to voters worldwide, the so-perceived mundane considerations, often, triumph the so-called serious stuff, particularly, promises made to the electorate from the soapbox, by candidates. For word salad, Kamala Harris, brilliant prosecutor and well-regarded senator, is almost now a nuisance in Washington and attracting little respect around the world. If she sits atop a ticket today, her manner of speaking would be one of the defining parameters for voters.

In advanced democracies where vote-buying isn’t as raw as what we practice in Nigeria (voters are still induced one way or the other like student loan debt-cancellation by Joe Biden to harvest more young voters), mundane issues like candidate’s charisma, oratory, persona, personality warmth, displayed empathy and family life/values, have turned millions of extremely-educated and stupendously-wealthy people across the globe, to idol worshippers, making ordinary mortal to appear infallible, because they are politicians of their choice.

In American politics, two tangential personalities have attained that cult image; ex-Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump. To millions and millions of their supporters/worshippers, they can do no wrong, especially Trump’s MAGA faithful and Barack’s Black American community. An average Black voter in America today sees a mortal enemy in Trump because he allegedly tried to delegitimize the first black president who represents the hope, aspiration and dream of America’s black community, by claiming Barack wasn’t born in America and not constitutionally-qualified to run for White House.

Yet, both men are as human as anyone, possibly with even more foibles than those idolising them, especially Trump who is regularly hounded and privacy, invaded, by the mainstream media, loyal to his political enemy. Despite his media/public image, being delicately managed, yet Obama’s soft underbelly is everywhere even when the global media would want to look the other way. His undying support for the LGBTQ+ community as president and private citizen, is the main reason evangelicals have clung unto Trump, despite his clumsy ways. Obama and democrats’ undiluted support for abortion, is a reason Trump is always resurrecting in polls, whenever he is considered underwater and buried. Abortion, gay rights and other so-called cultural stuff over there are at best, group concerns and at least, mundane personal issues. Yes, the law forbids abortion and gay practice, but they are things people do to their bodies, with their lives, being at the risk of the consequences. They are mundane issues, being prioritized, compared to a country’s economy or security.

In Nigeria, the crashing economy is a serious issue, but unserious people are in charge, propped up by our peculiar electoral process, both at the national and sub-national levels.

Despite the Electoral Act being perceivably clear about the process of conducting primaries for the emergence of party candidates, all the Big 3 in Edo, for the umpteenth time, flunked the process, with both PDP and APC ending up with multiple candidates for each ticket. Even the so-called puritanical LP is gasping to interpret very clear provisions of the Act, in electing Olumide Akpata as candidate.

Haven’t we seen enough from the political class to stop attaching any modicum of importance to their promises? Is it those who couldn’t arrange their homes, even when using the delegate system of less than 1000 voters, that one would fever over their so-called manifesto?

Louis Brandeis of America’s Supreme Court says if we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable. Politicians would make their politics respectable before their words are respected. Nothing those in government, who are products of our wonky politicking, say, make sense to many again. When we see results we will celebrate them. But until then, I stay with the mundane.

Edo has elected three constitutional governors since 1999. Under the law, Professor Oserheimen Osunbor isn’t a former governor. When sacked by the Court of Appeal on 12 November 2008, he was deemed not to have been duly elected in the first place, regardless of the propriety of the suspicious judgement, which brought the hypocritical Adams Oshiomhole in.

Jesus reserved his most stinging rebuke for the Pharisees and the Sadducees, mainly for their hypocritical ways. In all the Edo drama, it is gratifying that Oshiomhole’s anointed, Hon. Dennis Idahosa was finally dumped by APC and its Edo faithful. The eventual emergence of Senator Monday Okpebholo must have hurt the conspiring triumvirate of the national chairman, Abdullahi Ganduje, Imo governor, Hope Uzodinma and Oshiomhole, very badly.

Oshiomhole as the so-called activist and comrade governor hounded Chief Tony Anenih to his grave with the godfatherism accusation. Then, he himself, wanted to become one. It is pleasing his noise is being bloodied for the second time, after the defeat handed him by the incumbent Godwin Obaseki when they parted ways. Funny enough, Obaseki, who the entire Nigeria, had to figuratively rescue from Oshiomhole’s godfather complex, during his reelection in 2020, is now doing the same thing, Oshiomhole did to him, for which Edo rose against the khaki-wearer. This time, I hope both Oshiomhole and Obaseki will lose their investments, to provide more examples of how not to play god.

Since 1999, Edo government house has witnessed what is akin to that Britain’s memorable sitcom, Some Mothers Do ‘ave ‘Em, starring Michael Crawford as maladroit Frank Spencer. Father to a failed governor, with mustache style known as Chevron, pleaded he should be allowed to repeat class, in pitching his re-election. A comrade governor asked a widow to go and die. A professor of law, with thining-out hairline bumbled around, before bundled out. Apart from disappointing expectations during their tenures, another thing that binds them, is that they could look better, including the incumbent.

Since politicians will always be politicians, it would be reckless optimism for the people of the state, to expect a Daniel, among the candidates. But there is one thing, the state can do for itself; it has to stop electing governors with demoralizing demeanor even when happy. Since the campaign sloganeering would always be hot air, at the end of the day, at least a happy, fine, fresh face, should be some compensation for the votes to be wasted on these characters. Half bread is better than none.