TODAY, we will be considering another marital challenge that places a limit on marital s3x. Thus, negatively affecting s3xual satisfaction. This is in the area of delay in bearing children, which is generally referred to as barrenness. Couples affected by this unpalatable situation suffer s3xual displeasure. I was in a couples get together some time ago, where this issue of barrenness came up. One person asked, what is the joy in having s3x, when it does not result in pregnancy, and in the final analysis, child bearing.? It was later discovered that the person had no child from a marriage of about ten years.
In such a marriage, s3xual fulfilment is basically a difficult experience to have, on a regular basis. Such a couple will have to make extra effort to overcome this challenge, if s3xual fulfilment will be achieved. The issues involved in this situation revolve around the following
- Lack of interest in s3xual act.
This is due to the pressure over barrenness from families and friends of the couple. A lot of pressure is mounted on the couples passing through the barrenness experience. They are ever under pressure to bring forth children. Thus, their minds are full of anxieties over the desire to have children. Since the mind is the engine room for s3x, such pressures always take its toil on the desire for s3x. The attitude may be that of what is the purpose of wasting energy on an unfruitful venture. This becomes more pronounced as years of waiting become longer.
- Frequent frictions occur in the relationship due to the inability to have children in the marriage. Little and small issues or conflicts which ordinarily could have been insignificant, become seriously overblown, due to the pressures from lack of children.
- Spending more time apart from each other begins to play out in order to avoid frictions based on the barrenness issue. The tendency is to avoid their being together alone so as not to talk about the issue.
- Low self esteem may also set in due to the feeling of inadequacy on their part. They see themselves as being failures in the eyes of the people around them. After all, they have no children to show for their s3xual acts. They begin to feel inferior to couples who have been able to produce children from their marriage.
All these impact negatively on the minds of such couples, and make consistent s3xual fulfilment a mirage. For couples in this category, consistent effort must be made to rise above this challenge, and enjoy their s3xual life. They must constantly remind themselves that, with time, children will come from their efforts. They should realise that children will only come their way, as they engage in s3x. The more they meet, s3xually,the more their chances of having children. After all, it is s3xual acts that lead to pregnancy.
Finally, they must make their personal well being a topmost priority, if they want to live long to see, not only their children, but their grand children as well. Even, if children do not come, it should not rob them of the joy of living. Why should they lose on both sides: no children, then no s3xual enjoyment. That will be a miserable life in the final analysis.
So, let couples rise above this challenge of barrenness, and give themselves real great s3xual fulfilment. Barrenness should not rob one of the joy of s3xual fulfilment. This, however, requires deliberate and conscious effort, because it is easier said than done.
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