Re: How do I get out of this abusive union?

DEAR Moni, frankly speaking, if the story you have shared in this column is true, I will counsel you because of your children to open up to him your grievances against him in a respectable and convincing manner. I am sure he will change for better, but if he remains adamant, you can let the cat out of bag to his extended family. Also, let his close associates know about it. However, you can stop feeding him because food energises him to ask for sex frequently. Lastly, be prayerful and your request shall be answered , ATO, 09026522426.

Moni, since your husband won’t listen to anyone’s advice, the best thing is to visit a customary court nearest to you to file for divorce, Debra A, 08055631749.

Moni, my advice for you is to quit that marriage, how can he make love to you in the presence of the children? What legacy are you both keeping for them? To me, your children should be more important to you than him, forget him and move on.  God will see you through because if you remain under the same roof there is every likelihood that you might lose your life. In the same vein, I don’t want you to lose any of those innocent children to his callousness, 08037374632.

Moni, you have to get your acts together and be sensible in making up your mind whether to stay in the abusive relationship you have found yourself. I don’t think you have to be sentimental about this issue. If proper analysis of the issue is to be done, your man is a beast and will do anything to continue to hurt your feelings as far as he has chosen to be irresponsible. Moni, please, you have your life to live. The future of your children is equally important.

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Moni, I will want you to hold your destiny in your hands. As long as you have stayed this long with a man who has chosen to be so callous, you better find a way of getting separated at least for now to regain your sanity before it affects your relationship with colleagues in your workplace. Such men are in their tens around. There is nothing you can do that they will appreciate you for, please, for you not to lose your means of livelihood it is better you take the bull by the horn, good luck to you, Anonymous.

Dear Moni, I don’t envy you at all. You were not discerning enough to have seen the traits of wickedness in the man you call your husband. Maybe you were carried away by love then. He could not have turned this bad overnight. You should even be grateful to God that he has not accused you of being involved in extramarital affairs or dating your boss in the office. Now that he has chosen the way he wants to go, you should not mind the cost of getting a place to run to for cover. You have to carry your children along in arriving at the conclusion. You need their confidence at every stage. Please, act fast, Agbeke, Ilorin, Kwara State.

Dear Moni, this man needs to be taught a lesson. I might sound partial to many of your readers, but the truth must be told. Coping with such an ingrate is an herculean task for a committed woman like you. You made a mistake by taking up the responsibility of settling your house rent in the first instance. When he knew that he wouldn’t be paying the rent why did he choose to get out of his parent’s house? If you had known this initially, maybe you would have reconsidered his proposal. As things are, you will not be seen to be out of your mind if you chose to get yourself accommodation so as not to keep injuring yourself, Janet, Lagos.

Moni, I sympathise with you for what has become of your lot. Your man is actually a beast in human flesh. Please, Moni, I don’t think you owe anybody any apology if you decide to call it quits with this idiot. As much as I feel for you, you are equally guilty of having to shield him this long. Is he not called the head of the family? Please, my sister, don’t delay your action. I am a man, and I dare to say that your man is a disgrace to humanity, Mike.

Moni, you are not doing this man of yours any favour by remaining with him for this long. How are we going to explain this to our children that a man could descend that low to be having sexual intercourse with you in the presence of your children in spite of your resistance? Are you sure your husband is not out of his mind? Is having no job synonymous with losing one’s sense? Is he the first victim of loss of a job? Moni, if you still want your life in one whole piece, kindly for the sake of your growing adolescents find a way out of living a decent life. You cannot deny him the paternity of his children, he remains their father but don’t forget that you are equally a child of somebody, Seeke, Abuja.

Moni, have you ever sought your pastor and his wife’s counsel on the way you are being treated? I will advise you carry them along in confidence on what you are about to do. Moni, it is when you are alive that you can tell the story. It is stated in the Bible that a man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel. I am of the opinion that this man cannot change. You said that he never paid the house rent and the children’s fees while working, so what magic will he perform now that he is jobless? Leaving him for now is an option you should consider before he descends on your daughters to satisfy his insatiable thirst for sex! I pray God gives you the wisdom to do the needful, Kunle.

Moni, I don’t think any pastor’s counsel will redeem this man so as to effect a change in his ways of life. First run for your life. You know where the shoe pinches. Don’t be fooled again! Chris.