In contemporary Nigeria, marriage customs and norms are embracing various forms. While polygamy (the practice of a man having multiple wives) is common, polyandry (a woman having multiple husbands at a time) is less discussed and is mostly considered a taboo. This prompted our topic for today. Below are the responses of our contributors:
Iheanyi Amarachi
Polyandry is not my reality. But if we are talking about fantasy, it has crossed my mind several times. Imagine having two men at your beck and call, especially if they are financially stable. That is a big bonus. You could have all the attention you want because women love attention. But I am not sure a woman is emotionally capable of loving more than one man without making one of them feel left out. Many ladies nowadays are dating two or three men at the same time. So, why not?
Tofunmi Adedeji
If men can have more than one wife, I do not see why a woman cannot marry more than one man. That is gender equality and fairness.
Hope Azeru-Oziri
I reject polyandry and polygamy. Polyandry cannot happen in our society because women do not pay groom price. Also, according to our native laws and customs, two men cannot pay the bride price of a woman. More so, under the Marriage Act 2004, a woman who is married cannot contract another marriage. In Nigeria, polyandry can only be imagined.
Afolabi Doyinsola
I have never thought of marrying more than one man. I cannot marry more than one man because I cannot claim to love and satisfy more than one man it is not possible. I would rather marry one man and save myself from the emotional complexities of sharing my feelings with more than one man. If I do, there would be jealousy between them. Also, balancing the time and attention after attending to the first man, I would still need to do that for the other one. I would not even have time for myself.
Tosin Awoniyi
The thought of marrying more than one man has never crossed my mind because our society frowns at someone who marries more than one man. Being a polyandrist is against our culture. I detest being a polyandrist. It is not the will of God for mankind.
Sewa Glams
I believe that what a man can do, a woman can do better. Polyandry has crossed my mind once, judging from how some men into polygamy overuse their powers on women. Some men treat their wifes like an item they could make use of at any time. However, there is nothing bad if women go into polyandry so that men too could eat out of their cake, so they could see how polygamy affects women emotionally and psychologically.
Abdulganiyu Islamiyah
Polyandry has never crossed my mind. I believe that men are all the same — if they are not, about 10 per cent would be better. As a single lady, I would not date two men at the same time, needless of marrying two men at the same time. Religiously, it is not a good thing to be proud of. May we not have spouses that would make the thought of marrying more than one man to suffice.
Doyinsola Teru
If a man can marry more than one woman, why can a woman not do the same? But, I have not pictured myself marrying more than one man. The reason is that my beliefs and choices are reflections of my religion and culture, and I have held onto them over the years. For both men and women, why do they need to marry more than one person?
Chukwuekezie Ikechukwu
Why can women not try this? The men have had a good time doing this over the years. So, why can women not try it? If the only way a man can show he is rich is by marrying many wives, why can rich women not marry and cater to as many men as they could afford? I give my support to this.
Bunmi Oke-Akinola
The thought of marrying more than one man has not, and would never, cross my mind. It is not biblical. The Bible supports a one-man and one-woman union. Our society/culture does not support it and I cannot handle it. Kudos to men who have many wives. But the part where they face conflicts in their houses, they would not mention it. That aside, I shudder to even think of that sort of relationship because who actually will be the father to the children in that union? How would the woman cope too?
Adejumo Barakat
I have never thought of marrying more than one man. A woman is allowed to remarry if there was a divorce or after the demise of her husband, which could be seen as marrying two men. But, it is different from polyandry. Marrying two men at the same time is polyandry, and it is a no for me. Temptation has brought some women to engage in cheating, but I doubt if they could be bold enough to say they want to marry two men at the same time. Why polyandry? For fun or satisfaction? It is not worth it.
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