Pastor (Mrs) Folakemi Olaiya is the wife of the pastor in charge of Christ Apostolic Church, Gbaremu Centre, Ibadan, Oyo State. She is also the Chief Executive Officer of Christ Arena stores. In this interview with OLAIDE SOKOYA, she speaks on what it takes to be a pastor’s spouse .
What was growing up like?
I grew up in a family of seven and I was the second child. I attended St. John Catholic School, Academy, Ibadan, Oyo State. I proceeded to Yejide Girls’ Grammar School, Molete, Ibadan. After my secondary school education, I gained admission to then University of Ado Ekiti.
How would you describe your husband?
My husband is Pastor Adebayo Claudius Olaiya. He is the pastor in charge of Christ Apostolic Church, Gbaremu Centre, Ibadan, Oyo State. He is a native of Otun Ekiti. I can describe him as a caring and understanding man. He is very attentive, sensitive and straight-forward. He doesn’t like laziness and he is very spiritual.
How do you support him in the ministry?
Since the first time we met, I knew he will become a pastor. I can say we started the ministry together. I support him with prayers. Most times, I pray for him more than praying for myself because being a pastor is not easy. He deals with various people with different mindsets. So, for me to keep him and my home, I have to be up and doing, both physically and spiritually. Also, my husband travels a lot. Most times, I wake up in the middle of the night to commit him to the hands of God.
How did you meet your husband?
We met in a church. My family then attended Christ Revival Miracle Centre, founded by Pastor Peter Folorunso Owa. I was a chorister and he was posted as a new pastor to the church. Whenever we had choir rehearsals, he joined us because he also sings; he counseled us and taught us new songs. Months later, he told me that God revealed to him that I was his wife. As a young lady at the time, I was scared. Later, I started avoiding him. Immediately after choir rehearsals and church service, I would leave the church so he wouldn’t see me. When he noticed I was avoiding him, he started sending people to me to talk to me. It took me more than a year to give him an answer because I was scared.
What has been your experience in marriage?
When you talk about marriage, it is an endless institution. I thank God for the kind of man I married and the home he came from. There must not be communication gap in a marriage because that is where love and affection come from.
Many marriages these days do not last. What do you think is wrong?
I think it is individual differences. A wife must be submissive to her husband to have a peaceful home. A husband must take care of his home to have peace of mind. Also, there is no marriage without crises or misunderstanding; couples must know how to settle their differences. Whenever my husband and I have any misunderstanding, we don’t let it go beyond that day.
What does it take to be a pastor’s wife?
To be a pastor’s wife involves serious sacrifice; people believe a pastor’s wife must be able to condone everything. They will want to provoke you just for the fun of it. There was a tailor in my church, I gave her some clothes to sew and paid her immediately. Since 2011 up till now, she didn’t deliver both the clothes and the money. I’ve asked her thrice, she promised to bring them but she never did. So, I stopped asking her. What amazed me most was that she pretended as if I didn’t have anything to collect from her. So, we have to be very careful with what we say and do, because we are role models.
What do you love most in your husband?
I love him when he sings. He is a good singer and dancer.
What item can you not do without when dressing up?
My wristwatch and my wedding ring.
How do you strike a balance being a cleric, wife and mother?
It is by the grace of God. That is part of my duty, to assist in the work God has given my husband.
What is your advice for all women?
I urge all women to be more prayerful. We are the backbone of our husbands and homes; they can’t do it all alone. Let us support them spiritually, financially and physically. May God help us all.
As a woman, how do you feel seeing ladies in provocative dresses?
There is a say that, “If you don’t train them, don’t blame them” I you see any ladies wearing a provocative dress, trace her back home to see her parents especially, her mother. That is why we mothers have a great job to do.
What attire are you comfortable in?
I love English dress, most especially suit.
What item you can’t caught dead with?
Jewelries.
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