I can’t understand my lover’s motive

Dear Yemisi,

I had my fiancée visiting me three weekends ago and stayed over till the next day. It was a wonderful experience.

What amazes me was that each time I went outside to do something or get some things, she used those periods to check and search all the nooks and crannies of the one room apartment I am occupying. I never noticed any misplacement of items or disorganisation in the room because she did the search so neatly.

How did I get to know about the search?

Each time she asked me for something, and I went to bring it for her, she would tell me she knew where it was and she would say she knew that I have it. I asked how she knew where I had every item kept, she kept smiling all through to my inquisition.  I put it to her that she had done the room search to have known where I put a particular thing… She affirmed that with lots of smiles and giggling.

My questions now are: Why and what are her motives for embarking on such search? What does this mean to our relationship?

I noticed at the end of our love making, she moans softly and immediately I released in her, she would ensure that the sperm is splashed back on my body. Why is she doing this and could her action be voluntary?

Does that mean she has succeeded in preventing all my semen settled in her?

Thanks….. Expecting your expansive and professional guidance.

Musa.

Dear Musa,

You are the only one qualified to explain the extent of your affection and trust in each other.

I would want to say that whether out of omission or commission you forgot to include in your letter how long you have been dating this lover of yours, your commitment to the union and what your future plans are for each other.

Your acclaimed lover might have seen or observed some things in you that gave her the impression that you are not likely to be really committed to her or  that you were only interested in making love to her only to be used and dumped when she is no longer attractive to you.

The reason she searched and combed every corner of your one-room apartment might be suggestive of suspicion of your sincerity to the association or that she might have heard some things about you. For all you care, she might not mean any harm but wants to know certain things about you.

Before her next visit to your apartment, you should be able to ask her the reason for the ‘ultimate search’ she embarked upon during her last visit and you should tell her that you never for once liked such habit of hers as it has affected your integrity. But if you have nothing to hide, you need not be on edge with her curiosity.

I will not support what she is doing because if the affection is mutual, she should be free with you and not have a second thought of your confession.

Now to the other question on throwing back your semen immediately you release into her might not be unconnected with avoiding unwanted pregnancy(ies) while also preventing herself from contracting any of the sexually transmitted diseases.

I will want you to be sincere with yourself if indeed you want to have her as your wife. What is the level of your relationship? Have you promised each other marriage? How soon are you willing to do that? Are you both ready to say ‘I do’?

It is not enough for you to be angry at her reaction each time you make love, but to be committed to your unwritten words. Is she still schooling? What about you? Can you afford to add an additional cost to your pay packet for now?

The two of you must be reasonable enough to know what best suits you and if discovered on the long run that the trust is no longer there, why can’t you go your different way as the Lord leads you to your would -be partner who will want to have your semen and nurture it to maturity.

Are you prepared for the result of depositing your semen in her? For how long will the two of you be visiting the clinic for evacuation of the growing foetus due to your lack of self control and appetite for sex till married? And if you must release, why don’t you opt for condom?