ONE major factor in marriage is communication. A lot of couples are not communicating in the marriage. Rather, they just get along in their relationship. A lot had been written on the communication issue in marriage earlier in this column. However, I want to revisit the issue today because it is still a strong factor in ensuring that couples enjoy a great marriage. Communication is like a recurring decimal in marriage. It is the basis of all human relationships, without which, such relationships will not be successful..
This is the reason why I am presenting the I.T.T. angle of communication in order to move us to the next level in our marital communication.
- T. T. means Intimate Talking Time. This is a time set aside by a couple to share ideas about themselves and the issues relating to their marriage. It should be a consistent affairs for the couple to rub minds together for the progress of the family. This is supposed to reduce the conflict areas in the marriage.
Advocates of the concept of Intimate Talking Time are targeting to mitigate the noticeable flaws in marital communication. These include the following:
No communication flaw, dealing with a situation whereby a couple does not have a time to discuss the affairs in the marriage. Rather, one partner just calls the shots, for the other to comply. In most cases, the one calling the shots is the husband, who pays the bills, and in line with the popular saying, “he who pays the Piper, dictates the tune”, is the rule of the game here. So, the question of two heads are better than one, does not apply here. Since it takes two to tango, there is a flaw in this form of communication.
Partial communication flaw, which is a situation where a couple discusses only some issues, while other issues are left for one party, usually the husband, to rule over. Such issues include purchase of landed property, car, and holiday sites. Some of these may sound absurd to the intelligent ears, but the truth is that such reality exists. Under Intimate Talking Time, this flaw is also dealt with, since couples have no hold back on any issue.
Reaction communication flaw deals with a couple reacting based on what each other does in the marriage. It is waiting to see what one party does for the other to respond. So, what the wife does is based on what the husband does. If he acts angrily, the wife responds in the same manner. If he keeps malice, she also gives him the silent treatment. Under Intimacy Talking Time, the couple thrases out their differences amicably. Rather than arguing, each party has a share of the floor,in discussing the issues at stake.
With the concept of Intimate Talking Time, couples are assured of a great marriage void of incessant conflicts, which time together alone, will help them to resolve in the atmosphere of peace and understanding, void of rancour. Couples who have embraced this concept of Intimate Talking Time have good stories of great marriage to tell. I hereby recommend the concept to couples who desire a great marriage.
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