ONE major factor in relationships, including marriage is communication. For any relationship to thrive, the level of communication must be highly effective. You cannot succeed in a relationship if the communication is poor. It becomes more critical in marriage because of its peculiar nature. This is because it is not optional: you cannot have a wonderful marriage if your communication is poor. While I can decide not to talk to a friend, sibling, or neighbour, it is not so in marriage. When we quarrel and keep mute for a while, we will always have to talk at the end of the day. Why? Our lives are interwovened; we are like siamese twins. Whether you like it or not, you just have to talk if you want to stay married, and enjoy it. That is why after keeping malice for some time, couples still figure out ways of getting themselves back on the track of communication.
This is why I feel couples must work towards ensuring that they achieve a high level of communication. This is to be considered here from the perspectives of love and respect. These are two major factors that drive marriage. Couples must center their communication around love and respect in marriage.
Husbands must realise that to effectively communicate with their wives, it must be done in love. A woman wants love and appreciate it: it is her greatest need. So, if a husband will communicate with love, the marriage will enjoy a high level of communication. So don’t talk to your wife as if she is not wanted or appreciated. Love is not easily angered, arrogant, and overbearing. That is why love is said to be long suffering. All these must be taken into consideration in communicating with your wife. Love does not talk in following ways, among others:
This is the allowance for the month, and make sure you don’t squander it.
Why are you talking like a parrot?
This your food is too salty. Can’t you do better than salty and watery soups and food?
There are better ways to pass your messages across for your communication to be effective.
For the wives, always have it at the back of your mind that the greatest need of your husband is respect, and it must be reflected in your communication with him. Anything contrary will engender strife. Respect is not rude, stubborn or nagging. In communicating with your husband therefore, avoid such attitude. Respect does not talk in the following ways among others:
Must you always be reminded of your responsibility to this family, before you perform it?
Don’t you have eyes for good things such that you didn’t even notice that I have a new hairstyle?
Go and find out from your mates how to treat a wife, or how much they give as house keeping allowance?
There are several other ways to communicate than the above with your husband. So, let us constantly learn the skills to communicate with ourselves as husbands and wives. It will help our desire and marital confession to be married happily hereafter.
Does it mean that wives don’t need respect, or husbands don’t need love? No, absolutely not. What it means is that husbands need one more than the other, and vice versa, when the chips are down. It is the keys that easily unlock the heart of the husbands and wives. All efforts must be geared towards building our lives around love and respect in the marriage. With that, you will be able to get maximum satisfaction in the marriage.
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