We are both Virgins!

Dear Taiwo,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over six years. We started dating when we were in the secondary school. Now we are both undergraduates in 200 level in the university, although we are home now due to the ASSU strike.

My problem with him, however, is that he is too shy and I don’t know why he does not want to have sex with me.

Both of us are virgins, I am 22 while he is 24. He has not even kissed me before. I have tried talking to him about this for some time, but every time I tried, he wouldn’t even allow me to finish before changing the subject.

All our friends are no longer virgins and whenever they talk about sex I feel like an odd one out. Please, can I initiate sex or force him to have sex with me. I am not also sure if he loves me like he said because I believe if he does he would have sex with me.



Dear Lucy,

Your major problem is peer pressure and influence and the earlier you realised that peer pressure could land you in trouble the better for you. What is good for the geese sometimes may not be the best for the gander.

I want to believe that your boyfriend is sensible. Although, one cannot say or guess what his reason for refusing to be coarse or forced into having sex with you is, but, give it to him, he is a sensible young man.

I wouldn’t advise that you initiate or force him to have sex with you. How would you force him? Are you planning to rape him? Please, be careful and focus on your studies. You don’t have to follow the trend on everything. You don’t have to have sex because your friends are into it. Be careful!