MARRIAGE comes with lot of twists. One of such situations is when the fiancée earns more or is a boss to her suitor. In such situation, would you as a bachelor marry one who earn more than you do or is your boss?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue:
Yes, I will/can. If millions of marriages can work with the wife earning nothing and the man being the sole bread winner of the family, why can’t a handful of those marriages work where the wife earns more than the husband to reduce the pressure on him as the core breadwinner? A sensible guy would appreciate the benefits of having more money coming in. It takes only mutual understanding. When two people get married, they form a union that’s not only for physical and emotional companionship but even for financial companionships. If a wife earns more than the husband, together they can save so much, provided they plan well in advance. But if you let all your petty ego issues bother you, neither can you have a well-planned and secured financial future nor can you be happy in your marriage. No matter which partner in a relationship earns more money, it is vitally important for them to treat one another as equals, in an environment of love and mutual respect.
I don’t have a problem with who earns more but would focus my energy on the ‘boss of a thing’. Trust me, it’s not easy, no matter how you tend to stay strong, because to err is human, she may not intentionally but unconsciously rub it on your face one day. Especially when you lag behind in your work. (because you may not be effective every time). She can serve you query then settle it at home on the bed. If it continues, one day the man will break down and voice out. A man doesn’t want to be boss around especially by a female counterpart or their wife.
In as much as I love her and there’s mutual understanding, I didn’t see anything wrong in marrying a Lady who earns more than me or is my boss.
Yes! This topic speaks to what I am experiencing in my home. My wife is earning more than I do but all I use is maturity and God’s wisdom to live peacefully with her. Also, I let her know that whatever I give to her, no matter how small, is a powerful blessing to her!
This is dependent on the individual. Ladies are always bossy and this singular attitude ,most times over-clouds their ego which gives birth to pride. No matter how deep in love she’s with you, she’ll remind you of your pay package publicly, jokingly or in the presence of your friends, when you get her angry.
Earning more than I do does not change who I am. It is all depends on the way and manner you perceive love. Love gives and takes and if that is the way nature wants it, so be it.
Love according to the Holy Bible, is not proud. It’s not violent. It tolerates and appreciates, etc. if there’s love between me and the lady. More so, women are very loyal and would do anything for a loyal man
Here in Nigeria/ Africa, marrying a lady that earns more than the fiance/ husband would degrade the husband and he would regret taking such decision. I can’t subscribe to it.
Onatade Adewale Maito
I will be happy to marry a lady who earns more than me because I will have rest of mind and my children’s future is secured.
Three things to consider if you will marry someone earning more than you: Your ego, gossip and maturity of your partner. Your partner’s maturity is an edge. Is she mature enough not to constantly rub it in your face that she earns more than you?
Blessing Bada, a nurse is our expert on this issue. Marrying a lady who earns more shouldn’t be an issue so far the man too isn’t planning on staying at one level (static). I am a woman; I can vividly say 80% of women has an inner pride that has tendency to show when stirred.
Marrying a lady who earns more takes a strong-willed man to partner them. This issue would be looked into from both the wife and husband direction. If as a woman, you want to marry a man who earns lesser than you do and you have pride, you can’t give willingly without dotting on it, you can’t help your man without hoping for a pay back, and you will keep on insulting the man because he earns lesser than you do, please don’t bother going ahead because nothing brings a man’s esteem down or kills him more than a nagging wife, who daily reminds him how much of a failure he is because he earns less. It takes a morally upright woman to marry such.
From the man’s view, we have seen men who envy their wives’ success and wish they could bring them down at the snap of a finger because she earns more if you are that man, you don’t need to marry a woman whose take home is more than yours. And if you as a man have a woman who earns more than you, find ways to make sure you have other means of take home or upgrade yourself if you can.
Now to being practical, if you already found yourself in such situation where your wife earns more than you having start on a zero level until fate smiled on her with a juicy salary. Your way of handling financial issue should be a point of check. It happens that I grew up from a home where mum’s salary is (4) times my daddy’s own but we (the Children) or the family members never knew where the money is coming from.
This is one virtue most ladies need to imbibe when they earn more. In the place of upgrade for the man, my dad had to school himself and move up the ladder from being a messenger to senior instructor. This is one virtue the man that earn lower should imbibe too.
However, it takes understanding and humility especially from the woman for couples to paddle the canoe of their relationship when the wife earns more than the man, the man too shouldn’t be envious of the wife’s success.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Would you trust a spouse who had a past experience of infidelity ?
Join our WhatsApp Conversation every Sunday by 8pm or send in your comments (50 words) to the phone number, email address above or Twitter handle: @WhatsAppConvs.